I'm endlessly fascinated by the mechanics and workings of our brains and consequently got really into neuropsychology.
As I was driving home this evening, I found I had a very knee-jerk reaction to wanting to smoke in the car after work. It wasn't the actual cigarette I wanted-- I wanted to roll the window down, and have that hand to mouth movement that was so familiar to me at that particular time of the day.
And then I remembered when my grandmother became sick. She had been a smoker her whole life (she passed away at 94). At the end she wasn't very aware of her surroundings.... she would sit in her chair and smoke a cigarette that wasn't there.
When we've been doing and thinking a certain way for a long time, we actually create these little grooves or paths in our brain-- little neural roads that grow deeper everytime we repeat the behavior or thinking. We literally get stuck in a "rut." When we start a new behavior or way of thinking, we are actually creating new pathways in the brain (and this is believed to be one of the ways we keep our minds young). This may explain why it can be so hard to adopt new habits and thought patterns, and why we fight so hard-- especially at the beginning of a quit-- to maintain this new way of being. We are busy making new paths. Our brains are working very hard.
And this is probably why I sucked on a straw with my window open the whole way home :) I'm working on it, people.
Day 11: Went hiking in Big Sur and totally played hooky for 4 hours from work. Completely worth it. I sucked in that amazing air that is a combination of forest and sea, and while I blazed a trail I had never been on before, my brain was busy following suit. :) A good day.
D
My Milage:My Quit Date: 3/8/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 11
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 264
Amount Saved: $79.20
Life Gained:Days: 1
Hrs: 5
Mins: 35
Seconds: 58
