I feel like I have been yanked through several knot holes... backwards and forwards... I DID NOT CAVE IN.. I'm NOT Saying Thoughts were not there... The thoughts of caving in.. Were NOT nearly as bad as I "Expected" or imagined I would have under emotional attack. I am off the Chnatix since Saturday. I did manage to pull up my socks.. and sit.. and take a deep breath.. and say/think OK smoking is NOt going to change a ^%$*& Thing.. You cant have just one... and you know that. Lighting up right now.. is not going to chnage one thing or help you in any way what so ever... all it is going to do is make you stink, cough, smell and spend $$$$. If YOU do this you will feel like _________(fill in the blanks here) you will set your meter to ZERO you will disappoint yourself, your husband, your family... and your SSC friends... and for what... it's not something that is even going to satisfy you.... YOU will have to keep feeding it, ........ There is NEVER Going to be the perfect moment that is wonderful and stress free with rainbows and roses. I have to admit.... I sure as H did not pick a perfect time ...The day I began my quit.. Well for the week before... I read this site, the Chantix site... I tried to prepare... with water and mints, gum, chocolate... Tools...all I could read. Somethings you just can't actually prepare for... kind of like having snow come off a roof and slide down the back of your sweat shirt... BUT if you come here and use the program and meet and interact and make friends here... it is a lot easier to be committed, to know that someone else here has gone thru "life" emotions, happiness, sadness... all of it.. and someone here knows how you feel.... and they did it without lighting up... and SO CAN YOU. Thanks to each and every person, here.. who has responded to me, who has posted hints, who has shared their emotions and experiences. Reaching out and helping one person... can help committ and save health, suffering and sorrow... and put a smile on another face. Thanks for being my friend. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/10/2008 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 52 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 884 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $176.80 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 37