Hey Kev, don't go thinking that you are "broken" or something because you're different than others.
There's a couple of things that i've learned in my life - for one, just because others aren't as vocal about their problems doesn't meen they don't have them. In fact, many of them might very well be in denial about it all! lol
I had this very very good girlfriend for many years and we were very close, and I used to call her up and vent about my husband or about my family, and she'd be sympathetic and offer advise as though she had everything all together, you know? She would talk about her bright and sunny childhood and how wonderful her husband was, and she had a peachy life.
Then one day she let it slip that she had to bail her husband out of jail 3 months after they were married because he had solicited a prostitute, and then I noticed that her marriage wasn't as perfect as I had thought.
Then a couple years later her father died, and when I asked what from, she got very silent, and then blurted out that he had died of a drug overdose, and confessed he had been addicted to speed for a very long time.
She just burried all of those things, never talked about them, never thought about them, and boom - they didn't exist for her. I would be willing to bet that this is more common than we realize.
I happen to very verbal about my life and it's issues. Unfortunantly more verbal about the problems than the joys I guess, and suddenly found that all of the people I knew online thought I lived some life full of misery, was seriously mentally ill, couldn't make a decision, couldn't solve a problem, couldn't take care of myself, nothing.
Then at one point I found myself perfectly content and in need of nothing, and then you know what happened? All of my online friends refused to let me out of the depressed box and kept commenting to me as though I had posted a tragedy and they eventually left. LOL!
At any rate - many many many people believe that asthetics evolve from misery, and many many many of our world's greatest artists, musicians, poets, and etc. were misserable for much of their lives. Sadness and self evolving are creative forces - just because our world has seemingly forgotten that, doesn't make you a broken soul.
I don't know you well (and i'm nto labeling you miserable!), and I honestly didn't even notice anything but possitive stuff in your posts but figured something must be amiss when I read the replies, so I just wanted to let you know that I think you're alright!
It takes all of us to keep the world turning round and round, and not one of us is broken or damaged goods - we're just different, and in this world that's hell bent on insisting that everyone be sunshine and roses all the freeking time (and even write about the pursuit of such happiness in the American constitution), it can be rather difficult to feel like you have a place in our world if you're not all sunshine and roses all the time because you end up lablelled and shoved in a corner and told to get over yourself.
The only label you should ever wear is "Different and Proud" and don't you ever forget it!
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/17/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 588
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 44,100
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $11,025.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 52 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51
