Well said Lillyput. I'm sure that all of us can relate to the anxiety of how to survive without our crutches! I am not so sure that nothing changes. As I travel a lot I notice that I spend a lot less time in airports looking for non-existant smoking areas. I spend a lot less time outside in the pouring rain, snow or wind feeding my habit. However I do spend more time doing things in a more relaxed way given that I am no longer worried about when I can get my next fix. Many of the anxieties attached to smoking, such as, how long will this meeting go on? Can I smoke where I am going? Will there be other smokers there or will I be the only one? Will I have time to get a quick fix before the meeting, lunch or other events start? Yes to be honest some things have changed in a way that I can't say I complain about.
I don't know about you, but now my anxiety centers around being able to hold on to my quit. The cravings have lessened both in frequency and in intensity, but I am still afraid of one day for whatever reason going into the tobacconist's and buying another packet, or bumming one from one of my colleagues. For the moment I am happy to avoid "dangerous" situations, which since the smoking ban have been diminished, but not been eliminated entirely. I know that one of the main encouragements I had to quit, was the ten days I spent back in Ireland during the Christmas period. During all of the time I was there, I cannot say that I sat down comfortably, with a beverage of any kind and a cigarette, and actually sat back and relaxed. Smoking was simply a necessary evil, you had to do it but couldn't possibly enjoy it. I mean Irish weather and all that. However, I must say you could have the craic! in the smoking zones. What is it about the forbidden fruit that makes it so attractive? Kowing that from January 1st this year, France was to follow the lead set by countries like Ireland, I decided that it was easier to quit than to try to live with the constant anxiety of the next fix.
Now when I see people outside buttsucking, I can feel a certain pride that I am no longer concerned with the fix problem, albeit that I am now concerned with the health problems caused by over 35 years indulgence. As we say "you can't put an old head on young shoulders", - N� tiochaidh ciall raibh aois! If I'd known then what I know now! But let's be honest! How many of us have know people who have died or were otherwise adversely affected by smoking? Did this stop us? Like hell it did. When you see young people smoking don't you ask yourself how they can possibly do it knowing what we now know about smoking? But they do. I know that those of us in the 40+ age bracket can remember back to souvenir ashtrays and lighters, sweet cigarettes, cigarette advertisements and other encouragements to smoke, but does this lessen our responsability for the last twenty or so years, when we knew without a doubt that smoking was harmful for our health. When it comes down to it our fear of quitting was greater than our fear of the hypothetical life threat that cigarettes represented. The anxiety we had about quitting overshadowed the possibility of cancer, heart trouble or whatever.
Maybe my present anxiety, "how to stay quit" is preventing me from sitting back and enjoying the beneficial effects of not smoking. This might seem like counting your chickens before they are hatched, tempting fate, letting your guard down. How long should this go on? When I see many quitters who have clocked up not only days, weeks, months but also years and still take time out to check in here, I do ask myself this question - until when am I a quitter and when do I become a non smoker? For the moment the answer is not very important and maybe with time this will become clear. Nonetheless I have a recent quit of 10 months which eventually failed because of no reason, or at least any reason that I can think of now. I may have justified smoking again when I did it, but the validity of the reason would appear to have wained with time.
Sorry for waffling on so much today, but I have had a sudden need to communicate!
Sl�n
Deck
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/6/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 67
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,345
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �522.60
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17
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Quit Meter
$410,589.00
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 8188
Hours: 10
Minutes: 3
Seconds: 41
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
45621
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
547,452
Cigarettes Not Smoked