Hey Jon,
Wow. I don't even know how to address the pain and loss your dealing with right now. I've never been where you are, so can't honestly say, "I know how you feel." It would be a lie if I did. I can't say what i would do in your situation. Maybe someone wiser than I will show up soon and say something that might help you. Until then....I'll be praying for you and your family. If I can help you in any way, please let me know.
Dan
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]9/17/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 167
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 10,020
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,778.55
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 25 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 48 [B]Seconds:[/B] 58