That's a lot to have to deal with, Deck. What jumps out at me is that you're saying that you will only get around to the tests when you have a moment free, so to speak?? This can't be right. Surely you have somebody at work who can carry your load while you get your legs seen to right away... Maybe this is a good time to partially hand over the controls of the business to a trusted employee while you do some work on yourself during this harrowing time.... [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/18/2008 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 42 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,050 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $472.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 11

hi, first of all so sorry you are suffering with your health. but at least you can quit and ARE quitting. i have a freind maureen with emphysema and no matter how she chokes she's still convinced she can't quit. so please try to imagine if you got the news about your health but you hadn't actually quit yet? at least you've quit, you can slow down or halt the damage. it sounds like you were used by your ex partner, it happens. and yes we fear winding up alone if we're single at our age. do you have good friends or family? again so sorry about your news elaine [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/4/2008 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 56 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,120 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �417.20 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54

I have been coming here to post regularly over the last 50 days, sometimes ranting and raving at the unfairness of certain situations, *****ing about some problems that have come up recently. Problems that of course in recent times past would have needed a cigarette to be dealt with. I have been travelling constantly for my work, my partner has left me for greener pastures. I've been depressed, completely stressed out and more tired that I can ever remember. I went to my GP the other evening, to get some magic potion just to get me over the hump. I have never resorted to any chemical attitude or mind adjusters before, but this time I felt I simply couldn't cope. I still wanted to keep my quit, although on a number of occasions I could have quite easily slipped back into the comfort zone of smoking. Anyway to make a long story short, my visit to my GP ended up in the ER searching for blocked arteries. Yes the situation is - Give up now or lose your legs or your life! Happily the quit has already been started but unfortunately the damage has already been done. Atherosclerosis is the medical term for blocked arteries of the lower limbs. Which means that, as a direct result of smoking, and a little hereditary help, the arteries in my legs are more than 80% clogged up and therefore cannot provide sufficient blood/oxygen to my lower legs to allow me to walk more than 50 yards before feeling severe pain. I thought that I was simply out of shape, given long periods when I am quite sedentary - hotels - restaurants etc., when I am travelling for work. This is not something that just happened, but has been building up over time. But of course in typically male fashion, I kept putting off until - whenever! This is the result of a 38-year, 2 to 4 pack-a-day addiction. Am I motivated to maintain my quit? To be honest I am so angry that now, that I have eventually quit, I hit the jackpot on the consequences. I am so p****d off with myself for having given priority to other persons and things and not having taken the time to take care of myself. And taking care of myself would have meant taking time out to deal with the horrific addictions of smoking. But no! Excuses Excuses - always: tomorrow when I have time: must complete this project - must not take time off - now is not the time etc etc . Moreover for the last 3 years I have lived with someone, who during all of this time worked at the most 6 months. I of course provided whatever money was necessary for basic necessities, clothes, holidays and whatever other enjoyments. To what end? Now when I need someone! Yes I'm pissed off and really angry not only with myself for being so stupid, but also with the rest of the world. Of course, some major adjustments have to be made if I am to stem the progress of the disease. I don't know exactly what I will have to do, this I won't know until I complete a battery of tests they have planned for me. Of course, these will be done when I can fit them in after my next trip! Do I want to make these adjustments? Do I want to make the effort? Honestly at the moment it is much easier to simply hide from the reality of being an ageing single gay man with no close family, than to try to come up with the energy necessary to continue in the same frame, and for what good? Sorry to dump this all on you, but I simply had to give vent to my feelings which are a bit overwhelming at the moment. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/6/2008 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 54 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,890 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �421.20 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 27