Hi, I�m Pat and I am a nicotine addict.
Honestly, this truth shocked me to my very core.
I didn�t know I was seriously addicted to a drug when I first came to SSC. I just wanted to quit smoking, but I didn't know how to do it. I kept reading about nicotine addiction, but I didn�t really get it. I thought I was just a good person who had a bad habit of smoking. Surely addiction was something only people who took illicit drugs or abused prescription drugs or alcoholics or gamblers struggled with. Addiction didn�t affect run of the mill people like me did it? Why did all these people here keep insisting they were addicts and that this addiction was life or death?
Sure smoking could kill me, but honestly, it would take a long time to do that wouldn�t it? I�d only been smoking for...OH MY GOSH...34 YEARS!!! THAT WAS A REALLY, REALLY LONG TIME, so, I started searching and really looking at older posts and then simple definitions. Finally, I really understood that the basic meaning of all addiction is the same. I believe I am just as addicted to the nicotine in cigarettes as the homeless, destitute herion addict who is shooting heroine into her veins in an alley somewhere.
Here�s the definition that was my wake up call, please read it carefully for yourself:
ad�dic�tion
n.
Habitual psychological or physiological dependence on a substance or practice beyond one's voluntary control.
I took a good hard look at the last 2 words of the definition above, and I hope you will do that right now too.
VOLUNTARY
CONTROL
Voluntary means: to do, give, or act of one's own free will.
Control means: to exercise influence over, to suggest or dictate the behavior of.
Why would addiction include these two words? Weren't addicts powerless to stop their behaviour? I'd known addicts who'd changed their ways and no longer induldged in substance abuse...and thats when it "clicked".
Do you see now what I saw then? I saw addiction as a choice. I know I can volunteer to beat this addiction or allow it to engulf me. It really is this tiny peice of knowledge that has finally allowed me to set myself free!
I�ve gone one step further and chosen to beat this addiction while being positive and doing everything I can to be happy. Don�t kid yourself that I�m positive all the time or that I think quitting is easy. I prepared heavily. I worked hard and still work at beating this addiction, just like everyone else here. For me it�s happy work. I celebrate overcoming my triggers and I relish my freedom every day. I made a serious committment to myself and have promised myself to never smoke again.
I feel blessed and fortunate to have read some amazing posts here that have led me to gaining the knowledge I needed to overcome my fears. I hope maybe this post will spell it out clearly enough to help someone else. I'm not stronger, or smarter or any more determined than anyone else here.
I'm just another addict who's not smoking because it's no longer an option for me. I'd wish anyone who reads this luck in quitting, but it's not luck we need...it's knowledge.
:)
Pat
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/28/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 128
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,120
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,792.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 15 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 33 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10
-
Quit Meter
$131,961.60
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 886
Hours: 22
Minutes: 33
Seconds: 26
Life Gained
-
Quit Meter
6873
Smoke Free Days
-
Quit Meter
329,904
Cigarettes Not Smoked
