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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

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2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

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2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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JDK Thread #21


17 years ago 0 2534 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Stuff the tea and the Viennese truffles, get you ar�$e down the pub now, get a few pints inside you, pop into Corals and have a tenner on the first favourite off and grab a curry on the way home - the hotter the better!! And if you're up for it later, get down to your local singles club and start talking all those words you write here! It's out there Kev; like I've said before, JF.... you know the rest! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/18/2004 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1267 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 25,340 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �6,335.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 203 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 33 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6
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    $59,092.00

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    Days: 1170 Hours: 11

    Minutes: 34 Seconds: 51

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    5372

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    118,184

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17 years ago 0 1113 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Unhooked & Bear, Thanks, I think maybe trying to look deep within and attempting to work out how I am going to continue to do the no smokey thing has made me a bit emotional today. It could be man PMT or the fact that I am only three days from a major milestone which is causing me to question if I will be a cowering-from-outside-life wreck for life and what to do about it. You know me and emotions Unhooked and I remember what you said about feeling. You cheered me up with the 'sunshine up my butt' phrase. That rocks! I feel a nice cup of tea is in order shortly, plus I've just broken out the viennese truffles! mmmm [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 117 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,925 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �491.40 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 14 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 14 [B]Seconds:[/B] 3
17 years ago 0 1113 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lizzie, Tricky question! 1) Yes, but not all the time. And you already answered the reason why, which is very true. Now the tricky one because I am in two minds and it can depend on the second you ask me. 2) Yes, Reasons why : I could go to the pub and be social again and not have to worry about whether I can hold out 5 more mins. I'd just pop outside and smoke. I 'think' I enjoy it. In spring and summer at least (and in the winter before the ban). To stand up and be counted. Which I know is really stupid but still want to. Its that bus stop sticker thing! Grr. To take back all that spare time instead of roaming around the house like a caged lion. To blot out my so called life. To stop looking like a whiney idiot here. I care too much about how I come across and how I affect others. Now the reasons why I don't want to go back to smoking.... 1) I live for here, the SSC. If I smoked then I could not come here. 2) I'd let down my parents and I hate seeing them angry at me. 3) I'd get a lot of stick from my workmates 4) I like helping people overcome their own addictions. 5) I like the extra money for music. 6) I really like not coughing my lungs up. 7) Not worrying about being pounced on outside the hospital for smoking in their grounds. If I were to look deep inside me I would say that I probably have deep clinical depression (how else could I have an ambition to die before my parents because I am rubbish at funerals). Smoking used to hide everything and that is one reason why I desire to go back to it. Part of me just tells me to shut up and get on with whatever happens smoking or not smoking. I think a lot about the very same normal life ambitions you listed btw. I'd love to have a girl/wife, children and a house/flat etc. But when that step is so far away it does seem possible. Its not all negative. I am currently learning about how to change a fuse in the house. A kind of how to do things when my parents are gone type book. This is where a digital camera comes in extra handy. Btw, I didn't know those figures about success rates. Thats really cool. I can hold on and make 120 days smokefree. I would be happy with that. There are no weekends inbetween either so a nosedive is less likely. I'll continue to babystep it (one hour at a time) but any advice as to what I should change would be very helpful. I'm feeling guilty for being such a nightmare over 100 days in when others are handling it much better only 10 days in. Thats part of it too. There is something inside me that says to stop posting and let everyone else get on with the good business of quitting. Anyway, last honest report for the day from me. Maybe I will be better tomorrow. Thanks for writing to me Lizzie. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 117 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,925 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �491.40 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 14 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 44
17 years ago 0 3541 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kev, if you think it's better to go out more spontaneously and without a big plan, then do it. You know what's best for you and you should trust yourself. As our wise friend Pen says, JFDI. Please don't think you have to always be positve and happy here. I happen to believe any quit is easier if you stay focused on the positive and see it as a good change in your life. But nobody is upbeat & happy all the time, about everything. We don't excpect that of anybody. We're your friends and we're here to share your victories and help with your doubts. So don't blow sunshine up our butts, OK? Understand, my friend, there is no way you are not going to do this. It's too late, you already are. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/13/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 177 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,540 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,947.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 17 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 39 [B]Seconds:[/B] 49
17 years ago 0 1698 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I did'nt read the whole thread but what I did detect is some wavering on the part of one individual who is messing with the wrath of Khan if he even thinks about going back to smokinging as a solution to anything. :mad: [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/20/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 231 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,158 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,310.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 52 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51
17 years ago 0 579 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kev, I have a couple of questions: 1) Do you feel sad, miserable and fed up? 2) Do you want to go back to smoking? Given that 1) is a temporary state because you are in addiction recovery, can you please answer 2). If the answer to 2) is 'Yes', can you explain why? How does smoking help you towards what you want to achieve or who you want to be in life? Will it make your heart sing? Will it help you get the girl? What are the important things looking forward - getting your own place/being a Dad? These are questions that you have to explore. Did you know that around 75% of people who make it to day 120 are successful long term. And if you make it to Day 150, then it is around 90%. Just seems a shame to stop just as it starts to get easier. A colleague of mine once said to me "I truly cannot believe that I once thought I did not want to live without smoking" Have a good day! Lizzie :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]4/23/2003 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1658 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 24,870 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �6,217.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 165 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 55
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17 years ago 0 1356 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kev, just your regular wall, not fun wall :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/3/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 187 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,870 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $327.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 17 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 34 [B]Seconds:[/B] 4
17 years ago 0 1113 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
p.s. I am really glad you posted btw. It gave me the chance to explain before I did what was going to happen. Maybe there is some techie esp working?! Anyway, whenever I speak to you I feel 100 times better. I wish you a great day and hope nobody hassles you too much. It is beautiful and sunny (if very cold) here. I think I will occupy myself with work now. Byyeee. p.p.s. I hope I did not depress you too much. It was not my intention. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 117 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,925 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �491.40 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 14 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24
17 years ago 0 1113 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lizzie, Thanks for the advice. Could it be that in an effort to get out of this hole of confusion I am pretending to be confident and happy in order to smoke? Is it a junkie ploy to get me out in the open? The answer is YES to the above. The real Kev knows he will blow his quit as soon as the chains are released but he is also tired of projecting a negative picture of life and so decided to paint a confident happy picture for newbies and friends. I've not changed really, I am still the least confident, scaredy-cat, huge addict that I ever was that is going around in circles. You can bet that if I played this the non smoking way then every second I was out I would be shaking and wanting to go back home! Home is smokefree safety. Just another day where I have to make the decision as to whether I post happy stuff and cry on the inside, write the real things that go through my head and depress everyone and possibly lose my friends here (given that I have cut off the rest of my life since I quit), or just forget the whole thing and don't post and instead smoke for England. You know about my real desire to make 120 days as it was you that gave me the idea that I could. That is with me and also the reason why I stayed smokefree last weekend when I really wanted to just go and smoke (and then give the parents a good going over for not caring for their children and teaching them whats right in that superstore). Sorry about yet another from the heart post. I guess I really do have a lot to sort out in order to make this quit work like what to do with someone whose only desire to quit is for other people. If it can only work if I want it for me then I may be screwed from the start and just prolonging the misery. I think I will get a nice cup of tea and work on projecting happiness vibes again. HUGS from Kevin [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/12/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 117 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,925 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �491.40 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 14 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 52 [B]Seconds:[/B] 25
17 years ago 0 579 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Kev, WOW - look at that 117 days! And getting near the 3,000 not smoked too! That is absolutely fantastic. Well done, you. I was struck by one of your previous quotes : [quote] I've ended quits within seconds of being out of sight before. [/quote] Quitting smoking is about being honest with ourselves about addiction. My reading of the above situation is that you always assumed that you would fail, and therefore you just waited for the opportunity to 'get it over with.' You could almost say that you planned to fail. If you are going to break this pattern, then you need to make yourself accountable to yourself, and not to other people. No-one made you break your previous quits. You lit the cigarette - no-one else was involved in that decision. This will be over when you, Kev, decide to take control. Kev says 'No'. Kev plans to succeed. So Yes, it is time to start emerging from the house...but step by step....don't get straight down the pub for a drinking session! You need to start making new non-smoking memories. Everytime you do something where you previously would smoke is going to be a trigger. But when you change history, and do not smoke, you create a new non-smoking memory. You start to kill triggers one by one. But you Kev must remain in charge. You don't have to do a lot of pre-planning, but as you walk into that shopping centre you must mentally steel yourself....I Kev will not buy cigarettes during this shopping trip. What are you going to do if you get a really strong urge (count to 100?, walk into a book/music shop?). Plan to delay. Plan an escape. Plan to succeed. You can do this, Kev! Lizzie :) PS I hate dentists too! I had a filling fall out last year, and I am only just next Monday going to get it 'sorted.' I finally gave myself a slap on the wrist and said "do you want teeth or not?!". So I made the appointment. :8o: [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]4/23/2003 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1658 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 24,870 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �6,217.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 165 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 40 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30
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    Days: 811 Hours: 4

    Minutes: 19 Seconds: 44

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    6112

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    36,672

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