As smokers, we all knew we were harming our bodies by smoking. I never viewed my smoking as an addiction until I quit and came to this site.
A gift and a curse of mine is my analytical mind. Looking back over the last several years of my life and seeing the changes of the last two years still have me in awe. So many years were wasted. A combination of bad personal choices and my smoking addiction caused me to hide from problems as opposed to facing them and dealing with them.
I now view smoking as any other addiction. My first husband is an addict. When I see him, it saddens me that this once young, vibrant man is wasting away before our very eyes. Years of addiction have taken its toll. Each time I see him, I wonder if it will be the last. My children look at their father and are now old enough to realize what is going on with him. My daughter has cried her eyes out saying �my dad is a junkie�. I watch my own dad smoke his life away. He has obvious trouble breathing and continues to smoke 2-3 packs a day. It is truly sad and breaks my heart.
What is even worse is that my smoking addiction wasn�t any different. I ignored my kids when I should have paid attention. I wasted money on smoking. I wasted time that I can�t ever get back. There were countless times that I was irrational because I just needed a fix. I know we have all been there in our addiction. That point where smoking is the only thing that matters despite how much we love those around us. Isn�t that the way it is in any addiction?
My journey has been emotional and difficult. The knowledge I have gained from this site and the friendships I have developed has changed the way I view the world. Some say quitting is just quitting but for me it was so much more. Quitting was just the beginning of a life changing personal journey. The struggle to quit is worth it. I won�t cry anymore over the lost years and I intend to live the ones I have left to the fullest by enjoying life and those I love. I am no longer a victim of circumstances and addiction. I am free of those emotions now. It took quitting smoking, a lot of counseling, and a lot of caring people to get me to this point but I am here now. Don�t give up the fight people. The alternative is death.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/1/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 755
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 15,100
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,642.50
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 68 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 40 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17