Hey Lady, I actually saw one of your posts on another board and that's how I ended up looking for counseling and such. I'm taking an anti-depressant now but have found that the availability of mental health help in my area is the WORST! Wow - it's stunningly bad.
I've gone through depression and anxiety off and on for a long time, and was treeted for it. At the time that I quit smoking I hadn't been treeted in some time and considered myself, for the most part, recovered. Quitting, it seems, brought it all back up to the surface for me.
Aside from that ... I think that the hardest thing for me to get a grip on, is the fact that [b]my health is SO MUCH worse than it was before I quit. [/b] How can that be? Honestly?
I am an insulin dependant diabetic, and after I quit, my insulin had to go up, and I had to add two more pills to treet my diabetes. I developed PCOS, which led to major weight gain, which made my diabetes even worse - (and the hormone issues with PCOS agravated the depression and anxiety).
The blood sugar problems took a toll on my imune system, and I find myself hospitalized frequently (in fact ... where I was for the last few days since I posted) for infections.
I tried to get back into my dance classes like I did prior to quitting, but can't stay healthy enough to finish a semester of classes...Not to mention.. I can hardly breath anymore. (I'm being completely serious here!! I CAN'T BREATH!)
I was an active, lively, and relatively healthy person before I quit. I am now afraid of doctors, hospitals, needles, anti-biotics, getting sick and dying.
So - honestly... How can that be? Aren't you supposed to get healthier, have easier breathing, and feel better when you quit smoking?
I've had big debates with myself about starting smoking again over the last couple weeks. [b]I've decided to keep my quit.[/b] The main reason is that i'm afraid that the health problems won't just *snap* go away, and i'll just be a sickly smoker then. The other reason is because my kids are so proud of me, and I don't want to disapoint them. I won't lie though.. I'm afraid.
It's scary being THIS out of control of your health. Normally, you can be more active, or you can eat more vegies, or you can loose a few pounds and make big changes in your health. I can't even be active because i'm always sick.
I'm sorry for being such a downer in your possitive thread, Lady. I appologise... should have started another thread. Since i'm already here - I'm wondering... Anyone in here know anyone that went through simular problems? Did they ever get their health back? Will I get mine?
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/17/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 366
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 27,450
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $6,862.50
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 31 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17