During my walk this morning I was thinking about "ALL" of my slips. I am now to the point in this quit that will make it my longest and really do not want to lose it.
Sorry if this will sound like a ramble, but these are my thoughts today. I have heard this use in AA, but I am going to use it to compare my slips.
Everytime I quit it was going to be the last. Then somewhere down the road I smoked. It is like getting hit in the head with a baseball bat. At first it hurts like hell and then the pain goes away and you think I can handle the hit one more time. And then the pain is back and you wait for it to go away and swear you will never let anyone or anthing make you want to be hit again. But then the insanity sets back in and you begin to think "Oh, that wasn't so bad",and then you take another hit and so on and on.
During this last week I have been tested a lot. I have found a total of 3 cigs and a one lit one on my walks. The lit one I walked passed, the full ones I picked up and tore them to pieces. It was the one I found this morning that made me so dam mad. All the stinking thoughts ran though this pea brain again. "I can take another hit", but all of you came to my rescue :)
All of you that have been with me on this journey and all of the new ones - THANK-YOU!!! You see I don't want to be hit with that baseball bat ever again. The pain of loosing a quit hurts not only me but those that care and support me. So it really is not worth the hit anymore.
Thanks, just wanted to share some thougts.
Keep the Quit
Sparky
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]4/30/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 43
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 430
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $129.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 13 [B]Seconds:[/B] 33
