Hey Lookingglass! New awareness! Yes, you got that right!
I seem to be so much more aware of the mental changes going on with this process. I think I have done more self analysis in the past couple of months than in my whole life. LOL, That could be good or bad!!!
The mourning feeling....
It got me thinking, How many emotions are we finally feeling rather than covering up with smoke?
The last time that I had started smoking again, (last fall), I had said to my sisters. 'Smoking really does make you high", They were surprised even though some of them had smoked for 30 some years before they quit.
I didn't notice it day to day as an old smoker, but when I hadn't smoked for a along time and went back, I really noticed that high for the first day or so and then it became unnoticeable.
It surprised me that my sisters didn't notice that.
So today, after all this thought about grieving. I was thinking, maybe we are mourning that effect that the drug gave us, that 'high'. And of course, nicotine being such a powerful drug, how much more it has affected me, than I ever had a clue!
I realize, its part of the whole process, but it is so interesting,
how remarkable this process is, and how badly we screwed up our lives and our brains by smoking all those years!
I also realize how wonderful it is feeling these "AHAAA moments", now, when the lite bulb comes on and you go "Wow, how blind and dumb was I all those years!"
It feels really good to know, that we are done with it, and we won't have to ever go back there. That we are on the road of this new life, and there may be the odd potholes, but it's getting smoother every day! :8|:
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 62
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,566
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $654.1
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 49