Slipping is not the right word. It is not a question of "slipping". I have quit many times before. I am highly addicted to cigarettes, and I am learning all my lessons the hard way. One example: I had quit for seven months once, when I watched my sixteen year old son have a grand mal seizure. Fear of my son dying in my arms, panic, extreme distress, call it what you want, the feelings were totally out of control. There was no relief. Only pain and panic and fear.
There was no slipping involved.
Did I start smoking again that day? You bet I did and it wasn't because it crossed my mind whether I should smoke or not. It was because cigarettes are an addiction, they give you a high and they give you a calm (a temporary one at that) it was all I could think of at the time to ease the pain I was feeling. It wasn't a question to turn in my head, I had to have it and have it now! Therre was no question at all. That is how the addiction works. It takes you over and you lose complete control. And later, once the crisis had passed, the regret, the shame, the hurt, the self betrayal, all come washing back over you, crying why, why did you give in?
And so you have to face up to the fact that there is so much more at stake here. People don't always just start again on a whim. Tobacco is as bad a drug as heroine, cocaine, crack,you name it. Some people are more addicted than others. Some find it easier to quit. Some can't seem to manage to quit despite their best attempts.
My doctor has told me, it doesn't matter how many times you quit, what matters is you keep on trying to quit for as many times as it takes, and if you cannot, then you have to seek out programs for help and there are not many of them available for tobacco yet, at least not in Canada. So what I face every day, is not am I going to slip? What I face every day is that I am trying my best to get thru each and every day without having a cigarette, and every day that I do is a good day. Will I ever smoke again? I cannot honestly guarantee that, what I do know is that every day I get through and every small crisis I get through, will help me build a box of tools so that when the big crises come, maybe I can make it through them somehow. That is all I can hope for right now. This is a learning process, an