I was an emotional wreck when I was in withdrawal. My relationship with my husband went (temporarily) to the toilet. I was under a huge amount of stress putting my Mom into an Alzheimer's unit and thought, maybe this isn't the best time to quit. Later would be easier. wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrong
Now a year later, I look back on that first month with awe at myself that I made it through.
I did exactly what you are doing. Came here and vented instead of smoking. I got quitter's "sore butt syndrome" from sitting at the computer reading, postiing, copying, pasting, making a quitters notebook for myself, etc. etc. etc.
I sobbed and slept alot.
I decided that this time, conflict with my husband was NOT going to be the catalyst for returning to smoking. That this quit was more important to me than anything. I do not mean that you should not try to do everything you can to keep your relationship good. But I had enough faith in our longevity to believe that, if need be, we could stand a month or so of conflict without splitting up.
I decided to take the advice that is given to many people in grief. To make NO decisions during this time and to take nothing I was feeling or thinking too seriously. You are in grief and withdrawal. Nothing you are thinking or feeling necessarily has anything to do with reality. Just focus on your quit - one step at a time, one crave at a time.
If anger is huge, try some of the great techniques that have been shared here on this site. My personal favorite was buying old ugly china dishes at garage sales and throwing them at trees or smashing them in a box. OH HOW SATISFYING! And it was sooo much better than yelling at my poor sweetie who was trying to cope with living with a blubbering over-sensitive idiot.
Crave the process. This is healing. It will pass. And when it does, you will be so proud and so glad, wondering why in the heck you waited so long!!
Best wishes. Carole
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/15/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 396
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 9,919
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1386
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 55 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 54 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24
-
Quit Meter
$795,095.00
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 5685
Hours: 6
Minutes: 28
Seconds: 2
Life Gained
-
Quit Meter
45434
Smoke Free Days
-
Quit Meter
1,135,850
Cigarettes Not Smoked
