The worse night yet!! All night I awake to nightmares. My hubby is angry with me because I told him I wanted to smoke. When he made the remark, you go get them it made things even worse. I went to bed and stayed there. I don't want to fight don't want any reason or junkie excuses to light up. I keep on dreaming that I am smoking one after another and wake up screaming no!! As I lay in bed I do the self talk. Asking myself how does your throat feel? How is that wheezing in your lungs? How's the circulation in your feet? All of the answers to these questions are POSITIVE ONES!! My throat feels somewhat better and that's a big change. The wheezing comes and goes but I'm not adding to it and I believe it's better. My feet are not cold!! The actually have color and are warm. This is great!! Now, when hubby gets up I have to deal with him. Like I said I will not fight. He asked me yesterday if I wanted to talk and I said no. It's not a good time and need to be left alone. That I appreciate it but having a very hard time and want to smoke so bad. I hope and pray that today will be a better day!! I wish I could get out of this house!!'I was pretty close to giving in to that demon last night. Self talk, smell your clean hair, the sheets on your bed, your hands and breath don't stink!! You are not crying that your throat hurts. Now why do you want a cig? YOU DUMMY!!! I appreciate the outpour of IM and mail. The SSC is a wonderful and powerful place and I am truely blessed. I did not smoke! N.O.P.E. not one puff. Thanks to all that helped me as I needed the help so badly and so grateful I received it, One more thing I am truely convinced that their is something to eating Chinese ?Food. Later, I need to read what foods to stay away from. I don't want to feel like this again. It is insane!! a very humble babs [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 4 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 129 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $21 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 6 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30

It's 5 days now and this is such a fight!! I called the laser therapy place again. Feeling very embarressed I told them how horrible I feel!! I was informed that it is harder because I use to smoke menthol. It is very difficult to think, sleep, anything right now is so hard for me to do! Now I am feeling the anger part. Angry that I want a cig. To go through all of this and then to even think that way. What's wrong with me. I'm like an animal in a cage. Was suppose to go away but at this point I don't think I will. I feel that bad. My husband is getting upset with me. I made a comment that I feel like I'm a looser because I want to smoke! My husband works the second shift and sleeps most of the morning. So really he doesn't have to deal with me that much. I'm doing everything except for 1 thing as I realized this today. I have not rewarded myself 1 time for not smoking. I'm going to go tomorrow again for another laser treatment. I hope and pray that some of this physcial attachment will go away. The physcial part is worse than the emotional attachment. The stress of this all is leaving me in such chronic back pain. I look forward to the day when I get up and feel somewhat normal. Thanks for listening, needed to vent. babs [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 5 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 169 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $26.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 46 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51

Hello my wonderful friends, I wanted to check in with everyone and say hello. :) I thought being at the campground would be easy as far as not smoking!! Unbelievable!! My GOD, everyone smokes. With sweat rolling down my face I was sitting around with 6 people and each and everyone smoking. We were catching up about how our winter was and just b.s.ing. I am a private person and didn't say anything about the arson or for that matter that I am not smoking. Well let me take the not smoking part back. I couldn't take it anymore. I felt so overwhelmed by everyone sitting around smoking cig after cig I thought I was going to loose my quit. Finally, I told these people that I do not smoke anymore!! Well, I guess that's one way of getting rid of people because I haven't seen anyone again.lol I don't care. One woman said to me if I ever needed a cig just come on by and it's there anytime I want. OMG, I don't get it. I am an addict recovering. I thanked her and said I don't think I'll be taking her up on that. I wish I didn't come out here. It is so hard not to smoke. I'm not that strong yet and don't have much time under my belt so this is so hard. I'm staying in the trailer 99% of the time for fear that if I see someone I may give in and smoke.:8o: I am listening to my relaxation tape and self talk and of course the reading helps. Another thing that comes to mind is that I guess people don't like to see other people suceed in a quit especially if they are smokers. Am I wrong? I have to do this I must stay strong!! For the 1st time in a year I don't have that horrible pain in my throat. I am not crying because my throat hurts so bad!! There is a part of me that does want to smoke but you know what, I like how I smell, I like feeling the warmth in my feet now, I like not having to worry every day about getting cancer from smoking, AND I like not being a slave to an object that controlled me!! Again, yes, I am human and I get tempted but I am winning this fight so far! Just wanted to check in and say hello to all and let everyone know how I am doing out here!! I think I will be coming back home this Friday. Thanks for letting me vent I needed to so badly.... Talk to you soon, babs [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Da

Just posting on some of the sites I wrote on before. Still not smoking and this is the fight of my life. I'm staying away from smokers as I almost relapsed. It's like smokers want a non smoker to smoke. I am grateful for the people on this site and for the encouraging words and support that I have received from you. I must say I have never expected such kindness and support and taking it second, min, hour and day at a time. Along with your support and help I really can't see how I would ever go back to that nasty junky habbit again. Oh, yes, a lot of praying helps too! babs [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 24 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 720 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $126 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 14 [B]Seconds:[/B] 53

Congrats on getting thru your first 2 days, Babs. Keep up the great work. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/23/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 6 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 91 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $27 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6

Hi Babs, I am very sure you are in many of our hearts... dun ever worry about posting and telling us all the details. As a matter of fact, i have always checked on your posting to see you have any updates. :) and you are making drool with your trailer and nature description. na [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/14/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] -14 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

Hi Babs, You are very strong and determined, and i really admired your determination despite the hard times. I will always have you as my inspiration to keep me through when my quit date arrives. thank you and sleep tight. goodnite. na [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/14/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] -14 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

hi babs, i am so excited when i read the part you wrote where you can smell your own fresh breath.. that is something i long for too, and i really envy you being able to have that now. Maybe one good distraction is to take all the advice from your doc to do all the cleaning up work, your clothes, etc.. and filled your entire house with nice fragrance.... fresh flower with some classical music maybe... i think these positive energy in the house may dispel all the junkie thoughts. having said all, cos my date has yet to arrived...i may not really understand how hard it will be. however, have been having you in my thoughts, and just wanted to be a part of your support in this difficult times. :) Take good care. Na [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/14/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] -16 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

oops, sorry, didnt read your today's post when i post the last reply. :) na

hi Babs, How are you today? :) Na [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/14/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] -12 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0