Hello my wonderful friends,
I wanted to check in with everyone and say hello. :) I thought being at the campground would be easy as far as not smoking!! Unbelievable!! My GOD, everyone smokes. With sweat rolling down my face I was sitting around with 6 people and each and everyone smoking. We were catching up about how our winter was and just b.s.ing. I am a private person and didn't say anything about the arson or for that matter that I am not smoking. Well let me take the not smoking part back. I couldn't take it anymore. I felt so overwhelmed by everyone sitting around smoking cig after cig I thought I was going to loose my quit. Finally, I told these people that I do not smoke anymore!! Well, I guess that's one way of getting rid of people because I haven't seen anyone again.lol I don't care. One woman said to me if I ever needed a cig just come on by and it's there anytime I want. OMG, I don't get it. I am an addict recovering. I thanked her and said I don't think I'll be taking her up on that.
I wish I didn't come out here. It is so hard not to smoke. I'm not that strong yet and don't have much time under my belt so this is so hard. I'm staying in the trailer 99% of the time for fear that if I see someone I may give in and smoke.:8o: I am listening to my relaxation tape and self talk and of course the reading helps. Another thing that comes to mind is that I guess people don't like to see other people suceed in a quit especially if they are smokers. Am I wrong? I have to do this I must stay strong!! For the 1st time in a year I don't have that horrible pain in my throat. I am not crying because my throat hurts so bad!! There is a part of me that does want to smoke but you know what, I like how I smell, I like feeling the warmth in my feet now, I like not having to worry every day about getting cancer from smoking, AND I like not being a slave to an object that controlled me!! Again, yes, I am human and I get tempted but I am winning this fight so far!
Just wanted to check in and say hello to all and let everyone know how I am doing out here!! I think I will be coming back home this Friday. Thanks for letting me vent I needed to so badly....
Talk to you soon,
babs
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/26/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Da