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The ?I am Quit? Fixation


18 years ago 0 327 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
thanks joe/rusty :8o:
18 years ago 0 453 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you for the words that explain exactly what happened to me: I was mentally "trying" so hard to quit that I couldn't take my mind off of it. Just what I try to tell my daughter: If you constantly think about failing, you probably will. Once I gave up the "fight" it suddenly became very simple: just don't smoke. That must sound so unbelievable to most early-quitters. I don't remember what I thought early in my quit because I was too busy [i]thinking[/i] about quitting! Thanks again, Joe. You continue to inspire and amaze us. Mc [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/31/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 177 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,659 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $708 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 17 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35
18 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
There use to be a lot of talk around here of seeking counseling to help through the early part of the quit. I know it was suggested to me in that first 60 days and my fixation with the quit lead me to heed that advice. After two sessions I realized that I wasn�t going insane after all, I just needed to get my thoughts in order and put my quit in perspective. I can understand the hesitation to seek help, and realize that this forum being anonymous is the easiest way for most of us to share the thoughts running through our heads. It is helpful to know that others experience the same frustrations but sometimes just a little more assistance is necessary to get it together. After all, for most of us, quitting has been a very emotional process. There is no shame in asking for help if you need it. For me it still comes down to one thing. You have to want to quit more than you want anything else. Quitting has been a positive life changing experience but it has also had its share of ups and downs. When we quit, we do have to reprogram our thinking. The negative thoughts have to be turned into positive thoughts if we have any hope of succeeding. Instead of �I can�t� we have to think in terms of �I can� or better yet, �I Will�. We have to get mad at the addiction. Look what it has done to us and how it has taken control over our lives. Then we have to count our blessing for every day we are free of this addiction because one puff can send us right back to where we began. Each and every one of us is capable of doing anything we set our minds to. Another good post Joe. I didn't mean to ramble on so but to be successful we have to be willing to do whatever it takes to break free. If that includes professional help, so be it. I'm done now. :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 238 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,768 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $833 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59
18 years ago 0 563 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Since the first of the year there have been legions of new quitters here. That is great! But along with that has come the inevitable reality that some will struggle. And struggle mightily I might add. You have all come here for support and to voice your concerns about your quits. Everyone here from new quitters to veterans post replies. Why do those few, determined individuals struggle so much more than others? I think that fixating on a quit can be as destructive as walking into a bar on your second day quit. What do I mean by fixating on a quit? There are many definitions for fixating, but the one that I think most personifies the struggling, fixated quitter is definition # 4, dealing with fixating in terms of Psychology: [b][color=blue]To attach (oneself) to a person or thing in an immature or neurotic fashion.[/color][/b] That �thing� I believe is your quit. Basically, a person can get so wrapped up in their quit that they lose their ability to function rationally. Most quitters will have craves. Most will feel agitated. This will go on for a period of time, but it doesn�t consume them. They can still function. For the person who is fixated on their quit, their quit becomes their life and real life takes a back seat. What consumes your thoughts controls your mind. How do you deal with it? I don�t believe that simply fighting for your quit will do the trick. Don�t get me wrong, I�m not advocating smoking, all I�m saying is that doing the same thing you have been doing isn�t going to result in a good, lifelong quit and leave you in a good emotional and physical state. At some point the person who is grievously struggling needs to assess their quit and the impact it�s having on them and others. When all else fails, I think it�s time to regroup. Quitting should not endanger your health. We�ve all heard the line, �no one ever died from quitting�. Well, in some extreme cases, the quit may not kill you, but it can ruin your health if you allow it to take over your life. It is at this time that those individuals need some professional help. Whether it�s for medication or for counseling, they need to recognize that, for whatever reason, they can�t do it by themselves or with casual support, such as this site. It�s a tough cal
  • Quit Meter

    $36,343.20

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    Days: 9770 Hours: 23

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18 years ago 0 80 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Joe -- great post! I agree about becoming fixated and about getting help if needed. I just wanted to say hi and let you know that I haven't vanished -- I am still working on figuring this puzzle out. Not posting lately, but I'm still here reading. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/16/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 8 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 117 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $26 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 15
  • Quit Meter

    $204,430.50

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    Days: 5899 Hours: 21

    Minutes: 49 Seconds: 14

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    45429

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    681,435

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18 years ago 0 1115 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Well, Joe, as always, another excellent post. I believe my quit buddy Rain helped keep me from becoming fixated with the quit. Didn�t know it at the time, but our diary to each other kept us focused on something else � our growing relationship. We learned about each others families, our pasts, our joys, and frustrations. I learned a little Russian. We kept each other strong and eventually barely spoke of smoking at all. Also, my best friend is a psychologist, so I have built in support whenever I need it. We have talked each other through many of life�s trials. I am a firm believer in therapy when needed. Cincere, you have my deepest respect. What tremendous positive change you�ve wrought in your life. I have no doubt that you�ll win this battle, too. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/5/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 295 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11,833 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1917.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 38 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 38
  • Quit Meter

    $472,461.60

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    Days: 5384 Hours: 5

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    45429

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    908,580

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18 years ago 0 2462 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Joe, I completely agree with you! I believe that some quits are more emotional, some are more physical. Support efforts seem to focus on the latter, because the former is oh so complex. After several agonizing months of mood swings, anger and depression, I was able to go to a substance abuse counselor through my employer's confidential assistance program. Although smoking isn't (in most circles) considered substance abuse, she was quite familiar with addiction issues and was a wonderful help to me. You will always hear me strongly recommend talking therapy when things seem to be getting out of control. Rusty :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/13/2004 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 438 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 12,273 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1533 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 60 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 11 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39
  • Quit Meter

    $54,964.00

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    Days: 649 Hours: 1

    Minutes: 43 Seconds: 43

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    5285

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    211,400

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18 years ago 0 2462 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
bump for bogbott
  • Quit Meter

    $54,964.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 649 Hours: 1

    Minutes: 43 Seconds: 43

    Life Gained

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    5285

    Smoke Free Days

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    211,400

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 10 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Maybe so, maybe no. I could easily have been classified as "fixated" on my quit. Fixated psychologically defined in my clinical textbooks as, "To focus or concentrate obsessively." Nothing immature or neurotic about it. Quitting was all I could think about for a while there. You have to grieve the loss of something that was a huge part of your life for so long. However, when I quit for the last time, I obsessed about it for maybe two weeks and then it all just faded away. I replaced the smoking fixation and quitting fixation with new, healthy fixations, namely eating healthy and pursuing a lifelong dream. Replace the negative with positive. Find new ways to make yourself feel good. While I agree about counseling or even group sessions to help with a quit, I don't think there's anything neurotic or immature about concentrating on quitting. It will fade away with time. There will be a day when all these quitters will be surprised that they've gone days, weeks, months, years without even thinking about smoking or quitting. Take care. -Maddie [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/17/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 130 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,308 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $292.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 7 [B]Seconds:[/B] 14
  • Quit Meter

    $327,088.80

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    Days: 5957 Hours: 11

    Minutes: 34 Seconds: 54

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    45429

    Smoke Free Days

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    908,580

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 12049 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Joe, Well done! Very inspiring and a good read :) Josie _____________________ The SSC Support Team.

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