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13 years ago 0 12049 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Excellent advice Diva!
 
Josie, Health Educator
13 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Well I am not Ashley obviously, but I would put it under challenging your negative thoughts. Because isn't that the point of the thread, to challenge our negative perception of making mistakes?
13 years ago 0 121 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Ashley,
 
I would be happy to start the thread. Which category do I put it under?

13 years ago 0 11214 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Sally,
 
I loved what you had to say and I totally agree!  Hmmmm I wonder if we could make a mistakes/fail thread where we can celebrate all our slip ups!   Just an idea!  Also, sounds like you would be the perfect person to start the thread! 
 
Ashley, Health Educator
13 years ago 0 121 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Diva,
 
I just wanted to say that I also experience a lot of fear and anxiety about going to new places (even just driving a new way home fills me with panic, I always take the same paths/roads). Because of this, I make sure to take steps to reduce my fear as much as possible. For example, before I went back to school three years ago, I made sure to drive to campus several times during the summer to be very familiar with the commute before the first day of class. That way, I would not worry about getting lost and being late on the first day (getting lost and being late is my specialty!).  I was able to see how long it took too to help me with the timing of my drive (I live over an hour away from campus). Once I was at the campus, I made sure to pick up a campus map and walk around, familiarizing myself with the layout of the buildings, where the food places were, and where the bathrooms were. This really helped to lessen my anxiety on the first day.  Thankfully, I will be returning to the same campus this fall, so nothing new, yeah! 
 
Good idea about the Panic Center. I should probably check that out too. 
 
About failing or messing up, I think this is such an important issue, and one that is so hard to get over sometimes.  I plan to be an ESL teacher someday (English as a Second Language), and so often, ESL students will be frozen with fear of making a mistake that they will not participate in class (which means they are not learning). I have this idea of making a reward chart for "mistakes" in my class to encourage the students to make mistakes and participate. I want to keep track of each person's wrong answers (in a silly and fun way) and whoever gets the most will win some sort of prize at the end of the day. I am a strong believer that mistakes are an important step in learning a new language (and probably in learning or doing anything else). As a teacher, I want my students to make mistakes and make lots of them. Then we will work on those mistakes as a team.
 
Maybe we could somehow apply that idea to ourselves? Like each time we make a mistake, think..."Yay! I am on my way to learning or accomplishing something!"  I find that when I am not making mistakes, I am not trying or doing anything. Inactivity and just staying in my comfort zone is a very safe, boring, depressing, mistake-free place to be.
 
So I hope you go out there and make some really fun, awsome mistakes and know that everything will be ok no matter what. Plus, I have found that if you ask, there are a lot of people who will help out, including everything from navigating the buses to getting around campus to whatever else you need. Sometimes we just need to ask.
 
 

13 years ago 0 11214 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
"Find a way to be me"  That's a very good way to put it.  I know that caring for others and bringing happiness to others is a value of yours.  I have an inkling that if you were able to do this even in a small way you would feel a bit more fulfilled.  Do you think this could be true?
 
How do you think you can do this despite all the difficulties you are going through?  How can you be as close to you as possible despite how you are feeling physically and mentally?  This is a tough question and it may not have an answer or it may take time to find the answer but it might be interesting to think about.  What are your thoughts?
 
 
Ashley, Health Educator
13 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
HEllo Ashley,
 
Yes better to try and fail then not to try! This is all new to me. A great new adventure! And hey, worse casem The Panic Center is there to help me with the buses thing or with the mid term panics lol!
 
As for you question:
 
I would be less tired and sleepy. I would be healthy and at a healthy weight. I would be less anxious. But really, I just want to find a way to be me and be happy and bring happiness to others in my life.
13 years ago 0 11214 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Diva,
 
I have to say good for you! So proud that you are going back to school despite your fears.  The fear of failure is in everyone but there really is no need!  One cannot learn without failing.  Instead of fearing failure we should be celebrating it as it means you are trying!  So go ahead and go full force in your school, if you don't do as well as you hoped then YAY!! Let's celebrate what you learned.    It takes courage to fail and keep trying.  

I liked Samantha's question to you and how you answered it.  I just wanted to add to it.  If your life was not a mess how would you be different? 
 
 
Ashley, Health Educator
13 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Samantha,
 I am feeling good about going back to work. Sometimes the nasty voice in my head tells me there is nothing to be proud about only managing 10 hours at minimum wage but when it does I try to tell the voice to shut it lol.
 
As for going back to school in the fall, I am super excited and terrified all at once. I am super excited about a new direction to my life and doing something I so want to do. I am terrified because I haven't ever done anything of the sort and am afraid I will be bad at it lol. Also terrified cause the campus is three busses away from home (got bus phobia) and because I don't know that campus (kinda scared of unknown places...). So I guess I will be visiting the panic Center soon to help with that lol.
 
As for the sleep thing, I will stay in contact with my doctors and hope they figure it out. I just wish there wasn't like a 1 year wait period for the sleep study...
 
As for if my life wasn't a mess: My finances would be in order, I would have a few savings, I would eat well, exercise daily, I would get writing done daily and my house would be clean!
 
Hello Sally0,
 
Thank you so much for your reply! You have no idea how much it helps! It gave me so much hope! I can't thank you enough! And yes, as soon as I know anything I will let you know!
 
I think it is very cool we are both going back to school in the fall!
 
Once again thank you!
13 years ago 0 121 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Diva,
 
I'm super new here, but something you said about sleep reminded me of my sister's experience. She was falling asleep all the time, even at work (she is an ER nurse). It got so bad that whenever she would sit down, she would immediately fall asleep. She ended up going to a sleep specialist and doing one of those sleep studies. I can't remember what they determined exactly, but they did find that she slept way too much (and it was not narcolepsy). The docs ended up putting her on Ritalin and it solved the whole problem!  She is able to be awake and active during the day now and sleep just fine at night.  I am not aware if she had depression or not at this time. I do know she still takes the Ritalin today to keep her awake during the day. 
 
I guess what I am trying to say is hang in there and keep going back to the doctors. Given enough time, they sometimes come up with just the right solution, no matter how implausible it sounds.
 
 
Keep us posted about what your doctors learn about your sleep issue. I would love to hear more.
 
I am going back to school in the fall too! 
 
 


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