This week was not easy. Identifying some of my core beliefs.
I think the program could improve here and especially the worksheets who get confused. I had to search the Internet for other resources to help identifying my core beliefs and I used the technique of "laddering".
I used some of my previous thought records to review negative thoughts and to identify which core beliefs are behind each negative thought. I found the following core beliefs:
- I am incompetent
- I am not assertive
- I am not healthy
- I expect the worst to happen
I will keep working on my core beliefs but the above ones already have an huge impact in my life. Now I see that it's not a surprise that I feel depressed. Which person wouldn't be depressed if they though they were incompetent, not assertive, not healthy and expect the worst to happen?
Mood tracker: This week I had some ups and downs. I also noticed some trends in my mood during the week: the best day of the week is Friday and the worst is Monday.
Journaling: I am using journaling to help me in my worst days and it has been working to improve my mood.
Medicine: I feel my depression is reacting very well to the antidepressant. The same I could not say about insomnia. Meds have had few impact in improving my sleep. I am having some sleep but it is not a quality sleep. Not everything is perfect and I realize that I will be dealing with insomnia for some more time.
Goals: It is really difficult to work on goals. When I look at my goals planner I feel overwhelmed with so many thing do do and the dates to complete each step. Also, I am not on schedule and I chance plans frequently. I think this is normal but I still need to keep working on goals to see what works for me.
Therapy: I am visiting my therapist 2 times a month since he noticed considerable improvements. I arrived at the conclusion that I am left brain orientated and maybe this explains why CBT has been so effective with me. Now my therapist wants that I put my right brain to work so I can be more spontaneous and avoid perfectionisms who contribute for my anxiety.
