Mandy,

 

Welcome to our support community, you have come to a great place

Please take the time to read through the program and to explore the tools and resources that are available to you through this site. Please also read through the forums. There are a lot of people who have and who are going through the same thing as you. We are here to help and support you in whatever you need, so please stay close, and keep us posted on how you are doing.

I'm starting to get to that point in my relationship, where I'm just apologizing for everything. I blow things entirely out of proportion and I feel like everything I do is wrong or that I'm messing everything up. He tells me he doesn't worry about it and there is nothing for me to be worried about, that I haven't messed anything up. Then I apologize for worrying about it in the first place.

 

I also find there are times when I'm so cool and mellow and I'll laugh at everything he says and everything is going great. Then there are times when I just get so frustrated and irritated, for no reason. I can't fully explain the mood swings to him. I've been told by my doctor the mood swings are due to my depression, so that is what I am assuming it is. But then I feel bad when I make this realization and apologize for it. I wonder sometimes if it is worth putting my boyfriend through this. Maybe he would be better off with someone who is more mentally stable.

 

I don't have a lot of advice on this topic either. I'm new to this site and am searching for some answers myself. But I do know that I shouldn't be sorry for feeling this way because I can't help it. I am how I am. Its a work in progress.

I don't really have much advise to add... I am kind of going through the same sort of thing. My boyfriend knows depression is a common thing in me, and he tries to be supportive but at times it is almost aggrivating and frustrating trying to be "happy" or "positive" when your really not feeling it.

 

I have been thinking about getting away as well, but to be honest there is really no where for me to go... I try to keep my problems to myself, and often when I open up to friends or family they pry and thats just a can of worms I don't want to open. I guess I'm just personal. I wish I could cope sometimes.

 

You should try to get away for a bit if you can. I think that is a great idea, it will give you some alone time to sort out your thoughts in peace and quiet and you might be able to get a grip on your current situation.

 

~Amanda~

Leslie,

 

No need to apologize for the way you are feeling. It is so important that you take the time to feel how you are feeling, so you can deal with the emotions, and eventually move past them. You should feel extremely proud of yourself for staying true to the way you are feeling.

Hang in there Leslie, and like you said, take care of yourself, and put yourself first  You deserve it,

 

Sarah,

My living situation has been ok I guess but I feel like I have to keep worrying about what he needs to be happy.  He wants to move and buy a larger property because of his hobby of working on antique engines he would really like at least 1 acre of land and a shop to house his engines & tools they are in storage near my house, my garage is not big enough for all his stuff, but he has enough room  to work on some of his engines here at the house. I spent 80,000 getting my house ready to sell but lost the market because of the real estate crash. It took 1 1/2 yrs to complete and was very tiring emotionally. I have been in this relationship for 4 yrs now we have gone through a lot of grieving together.  He lost his mother and I lost my husband, my mother and most of my family now.  I really don't think I am up to selling my house and moving right now I am not sure I could take it emotionally or physically. I went through some major treatment for liver disease after my husband died and am cured for the time being but have not really bounced back like I thought I would. He helped me through my treatments some what when I had no one. I have told him I can not move yet he says ok but I feel he really wants me to move with him now and I just can't right now. I have suggested that he move on his own if he needs to and I will come visit him but he doesn't want to do that either.  He seems to be understanding but I told him that I had to rest so that I could get well 4 yrs ago when we met and I still I haven't had the time to rest and get well yet after all my treatments,the renovations,and the blended family stuff. This has been a very emotional  and trying time and I am really tired now.  I am not sure if I was really ready to get  involved in a relationship 4 yrs ago and I feel I need so time to take care of me and find my self after spending my whole life taking care of other people. I do not feel that I can get away by myself with out him at this time.  I know this is long winded but I wanted to answer your questions honestly, and yes I keep apologizing for the way I am feeling.   I really feel I need to stick to my guns on this issue and not let myself be pushed into anything I am not ready for.  I really feel I need to take care of my self and my needs now for once in my life.

Thanks for listening

Leslie.

 

Leslie,

 

It sounds like you are going through a lot right now.

 

It can be very difficult to explain to others about our own experiences or feelings. It can be even harder if these experiences or emotions affect those that are closest to us. You mentioned that you think about living on your own again. How has your living situation been with your partner recently? Do you find yourself apologizing frequently for what you are experiencing? How has your partner been in terms of understanding?

 

You mentioned that you need some breathing room. Is it possible to take some time away from your home for a bit? Perhaps a weekend by yourself somewhere? Would this be beneficial for you in understanding what you can do from here?

 

Members, what other advice can you offer to Leslie on apologizing for depression or anxiety? Is this something that you have experienced in the past? How has it affected your current or past relationships? Please share your experience!

 

 

I am really tired of apologizing to my partner for my depression and anxiety.  I am tired of worrying about how my feelings affect him.  Sometimes I just feel like I have to take a deep breath so that I can stand it all.  I get so tired of explaining myself to him.  I really feel that I do not want to talk about everything and have my brain picked.  I am starting to think that maybe I should just go back to living by myself again, but then the anxiety comes and I am on the roller coaster ride again.  I Don't know what I really want to do for sure but I know that I am sick of apologizing for my condition. My Partner has told me in the past that my depression, anxiety, and pain are hard to live with and ever and since that I just keep feeling bad about myself if I can't keep on the happy face all the time.  Any way I sure hope I can find my self and my way soon.  May be I just need some breathing room, may be I just need to be by myself again.  I really don't know what I need right now.

Leslie, formally Sid