Hi guys,
Thanks Furgitit, Wildcat and Ashley for the replies.
Funny how I keep finding I have a ton of things on my plate lately but I know realistically I have very little compared to others. I do not work at the moment. I have no children. But between fixing and cleaning and purging our house, the parties I have, the signing at the party and everything else I feel completely exhausted and overloaded. And that makes me feel completely LAME!
Ashley,
I have started a few to-do lists but I still feel overloaded and like I am forgetting some things. I need to take more time for my emotions and getting better. I feel all over the place and disorganized and even my lists feel incomplete and disorganized... and sometimes the lists look so monstrous they make me anxious... I feel pitiful...
But tomorrow is another day!
Oh, and Furgitit,
sometimes I am comfortable with my body and sometimes I really am not. Oh and you are right, when hormonal I do bloat and that does not help my body image! At the moment, I am not. I feel fat and ugly and annoyed with myself that I have gained weight. None of my bras fit and that makes me angry. so yes, I am going to need to find small things I can do to improve my health and body. And you are right, I need to set goals which are realistic for me not anyone elses idea of what is good. I think for now my goal is to lose the 20 pounds I have gained. I would be happy with that I think for now. and yes, I agree about chips and chocolate. I do not do well when deprived
.
As for the party, well, I will be fine. I found clothes and feel a bit better now. Now I just need to go back to my singing exercises if I can remember any. I guess the singing thing makes me nervous. I'd rather sing in my shower for myself! There is also the fact that I hate crowds and hate large parties. What have I gotten myself into? But at least I have clothes. I also have an appointment with my hairdresser for the same day so that is one less stressful thing.
And btw, thanks for the lovely compliments it really touched me! And yes, my husband does seem to find me beautiful :) Thanks for reminding me!
Wildcat,
Today I am feeling a bit better. Friday, a friend of mine visited me. His visit cheered me up some. I miss him as he lives very far. I am tired and without energy. I am feeling stressed out and anxious. I feel sad easily and near to tears. But I am better from the 28th. wow that was a bad day!
As for my body playing tricks on me, that is too true. And yes, stress... Bleh!
As for hormones, I am off the pill. I took it for a very long time. But I stopped. I feel better since I have stopped so I am not planning on going back on them. Yes, my periods are rougher but the rest of the month is better. Plus, birth control hormones kill my libido and I mean kills it! And that is very rough on my marriage even if my hubby is very understanding. So, I don't really want to go back on. But thanks for the suggestion!
As for my mom, I know she meant well. I also know she was tired and was doing her best. I just find myself feeling oddly still angry about it all. Not sure why. And it is silly as I Love my mom so much. I am going to lunch with her on thursday and I hope thing will be back to normal between us by then. I just wish I knew why this is stuck in my craw still. I hate feeling less then happy with my mom.
Anyway