hi gang,
wow the site is something.
I was thinking ... some times I should not but it is a bad habit! The Psychiatrist had planted the seed that I might not be really bipolar but have a borderline personality disorder (alergy to rejection). The psychologist says the symptoms look the same but the expressions are very different and I am very bipo. still!
Also........ I do not know if I switch moods and I fit the situations into them ... or if the situations are what push my moods.
How can I tell? Right now I look at my mood charts and all the rest of the papers and I feel like I have been lying to myself! I have been filling these things to convince myself that everything is okay. That I am fine. But really I am crazy. I am always so.
When I am so sore and tired why does it seem like nothing else has ever existed? I seem to have forgotten what it was like to be normal/happy. I am this hypersensitive water-works that frightens everyone!
Why does it seem like the rest of the world slowly learns to move on and here I still am ... the gang here has changed twice since I signed on ... and yet I have not moved on more than a square or two. Am I particularly dense? or hopeless?
What a rotten week I am misunderstood by the far away office and then misunderstood my a closer coleague. Both go and WHINE to a boss and I get the the e-mail lectures!!! I am bored to the point of sleep. and no hope in site - worse the little bit of interesting stuff was taken away from me! I learn I am I clerk and the simpleton is an analyst.
And my husband sees nothing!