I completely understand what you feel. I ask myself all the time what is normal? Will I ever experience anything normal in my life again? It stresses me out as well as many other things. But the constant wondering if I'll ever be happy again, will I ever sleep in a normal pattern, or will I ever just feel good again? These questions and so much more circle my mind day in and day out. Everyone says to focus on the positive but when the negative over rides the positive so much. Its so hard to do. I doubt any of this helps you. But at least you know your not alone. I know that helps me alot.