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CBT Day – Anger, Part II

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CBT Day – Anger, Part II

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Unfortunately he left... we got another dog now, but he was the smartest and cutest as you say. He is not really deep in thought, he was just very young on this photo and was just waiting for 'who will next spoon with me?'

- we took this picture in the 'spoon-break'

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

you got another dog or did he just pee on the rug? he looks deep in thought.....

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Rose306,

Just wanna say thanks - I also found him as the cutest of my dogs until now -

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

I've been thinking about my anger, or lack there of, every time I go to my psychiatrist, he asks me if I am angry. I couldn't understand why, because I'm not. I think someone treating me with disrespect angers me. My parents never showed any emotion (I am not blaming them, as I show emotion to my child). It is just the way they were and I have to accept them for who they are/were. I also don't think I find anger productive. I don't think that I don't feel anger, I don't express it well, don't recognize it and when I do, it's usually an extreme. However, I don't react, I try to rationalize through it (justify the other person's position and explain it away in my mind). I've always heard that depression is anger turned inward, but never see how that applies to me - but maybe this explains it.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

hi perth,
un-assertiveness - yes, that's a great word to describe the domino-like series of events....i am passive-aggressive, not proud of it but it seems to be a fact. i stuff till i'm bursting and then lash out like a whip. it's so hard for me to just simply ask for things, favors, whatever. hard for me to deal with authority, period. i seem to be getting better, if for no other reason than i'm getting older and don't have the energy. didn't learn that normal give-take, ask-answer thing. how can we best be assertive? without the drama? or the fear? anyone know?......perth p.s. that is the cutest little dog i've ever seen

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Rose306,

Your questions about which comes first, the anger or the depression and why and how they affect on each other... I found interesting to dig into that...

My guess would be that there is an 'inherited' (coming from inside) or a 'learned' (coming from the environment) type of shyness or un-assertiveness that leads to situations where our needs are not recognized that makes us questioning why we are handled this unfairly (--> and makes us angry about it of course). After many such cases it could cumulate and contribute to getting depressed. But I could imagine that the two - being angry and being depressed - after developing depression go hand in hand and they continuously interact.

I would assume this topic will be discussed in the last few lessons as well (?)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi gang I have evolved in the past few years ...

I used to stuff the anger. i would the anger inward. I was the one that was worthless and stupid. I should have, I could have, If I would have ... and all that that was the bullet train to the depression pit. In essence I was not allowed to feel anger as a child, so as I grew up I did now know what to do with the emotion. I turned it inward and let it destroy me.

So with my miscarrage in 2000 I taught myself to feel and to express some feelings. After only 8 years I am not very good yet! So with the recent cycling that has come into play with my disorder I have gone back to the stuffing and analysing. But those few years were nice. I had a few moments to learn to express joy and rest and peace. I learned that I can be upset and angry. I can isolate myself and let the energy boil to the surface then let it return to earth. I can explode wityh my children and admit that I was wrong. I must request their forgiveness and remember to master myself better the next time as well and allow them the same space ! (my kids are 5 and 10 years old).

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi All,

Anger scares me and I try to keep it inside. When it builds I sometimes get louder and even yell when verbalizing, worse is that the bigger the anger build the more cutting are my words. My tone is curt and points made very pointed and sharp.

I rarely throw things and if I do it's in private. I lose strength when I'm angry - I don't know why but if I would strike at someone when angry they'd end up laughing. All my strength leaves and I go numb. My words do not lose strength - it is with them that I do my worst damage when angry or hurt. I think my husband has been on the receiving end of these words too many times, and many times the anger wasn't even toward him. The tone just stays in my voice or comes out even talking about an issue that angers me and cuts whoever is in the way. I am trying to change this but it is difficult and I'm not very succesful. I know that I do this but not always that I am doing it, if that makes sense. I wish my emotions did not show in my voice so much. I also wish I could direct my anger where it should be directed - passive/aggressive maybe.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1288

Rose, You ask a really great question. Members, we'd love to hear your oppinions on this subject. This is your time to speak up and share with us. Sylvie, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

hey bybillion,
yep - constant companion. you mentioned bitterness, too. me, too. i have 2 sons and they have seen alot of anger and frustration from me. this is my greatest regret. i'm not a thrower, hitter or breaker, but a yeller for sure. my mother was a thrower, she's gone through numerous aquariums, don't know why her wrath is concentrated on those poor fish. maybe she likes the sound of breaking glass? who knows - i tried for years to understand her moods - goofy, i think you're right - we all show it in our own unique ways. i think maybe we are smart, we know we're smart, but can't conform and use our smarts productively. make you a deal bybillion, instead of yelling at your son -get on here instead and we can lob back and forth and try to get it out of our systems. i'm glad you admitted and wish more would participate in this discussion. isn't anger a huge part of depression? which comes first? the depression/anxiety which causes us partial disability which causes us to be angry?
or being angry makes us depressed? are we angry because we weren't loved enough? or understood? or cared about?

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CBT Day – Anger, Part II