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Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-04-20 11:42 PM

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18 years ago 0 7 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm not batty, but I think I know exactly how you feel, but somewhat reversed. I am the depressed one in my relationship, and when I have what we call "episodes" my hunny drinks to dilute the pain I cause him. When he drinks he loses the bearing to tolerate and help me through my issues, then we wind up fighting and on rare occasions it boils down to abusive situations. We're both abusive people, he physically and me mentally and psychologically (due to my depression and anxiety). It's been very tough for us as we had a major dispute about a month ago and the sh*t really hit the fan. He is facing battery charges now, and I'm facing being a single mom with major depressive issues. I know his battery is wrong, but I can't judge him for it because of the amount of emotional and psychological pain I cause him on a daily basis. He has since quit drinking entirely, and I am (through this site and a professional) seeking help to bring my abuse on him to an end.
18 years ago 0 54 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Batty-what do you think?
18 years ago 0 54 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Did I mention that he is an alcoholic and I think that is why he left. He needed to drink and he couldn't do that around me. He drank before to deal with his depression and he wasn't taking he meds anymore so there was only one solution for him. He is a very selfish person and the only one that he is really thinking about is himself. I am really tired of it. Tired of worrying about him and tired of how he has treated me. I am also tired of being alone. Sound mad? I am. :mad:
18 years ago 0 142 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
again i am sorry for what you are going through. its not fair. not at all. just dont let that anger build and dont get frustrated, its undue stress. you have done all you can. the ball is in his court now. just wait and see what he does. i was thinking about depression and im not sure if neglect is part of it. ive never neglected my son or my family because of what i go through. the only time i might have is when they switched my meds and i was so tired all the time. but i spoke up and got things taken care of. i have a feeling there is more going on with your husband than just depression. i could be wrong but i dont think you just abandon your loved ones like that. push away yes but completely abadon no. just hang in. give it some time. take care girl.
18 years ago 0 54 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
He is in his early twenties and is an only child. He has been a super kid, graduated form college, and is just about the nicest young man you could want. I am going to let my husband deal with this and you know, his job seems to be more important than his family. I am really getting tired of it. No emotion with that-just power. He is really a very stubborn and selfish man and the more I think about it the angrier I get at him. He just didn't see how this has hurt my son and me. We just kept thinking of what we could not to upset him even if that meant hurting ourselves. Not right; not right at all.
18 years ago 0 142 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
i know exactly what u mean. simple is best. things get so complicated and when its not our fault it just hurts so bad. i am so glad to hear you talking the way you are. you are getting stronger and that is good. everyone has a right to be selfish, theres nothing wrong with that but to be hurtful to your family is another. he isnt being honest with you or himself. and pushing his son away is just horrible. he is building wall and making excuses and until he changes nothing will get better. he has to want it. he has to want treatment so badly. he has got to hurt so badly that he wants to get better. he is just wallowing in it and that isnt fair to you. my advice is this....do not engage. do not engage in negative behaviours with him. just dont. take a deep breath and realize you are so much better than that. there are people on this site you can help. who want help. and your son....he needs you. needs to see his mother strong and healthy. you can show him that. you can be that. i know you can. tell me about your son. how old is he?
18 years ago 0 54 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Honestly, Batty, it is really difficult. He is a very selfish man; I have come to terms with it. He isn't only selfish where I am concerned but with his son. It is very hard to give up on someone that you have been with so long. I guess he was treating me this way when he was here, but I just kept up keeping appearances.I have come to the realization that it is him who is going to have to work to get me back not the other way around. But, you know, Batty, it will be very hard for me. I just want my simple little life back. Gosh, I want some peace.
18 years ago 0 142 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
what now, i have to tell ya i am very worried about you. i am more concerned for your well being than your husbands. i would like to see you taking more time for yourself and putting yourself first. you cant put all your energy into this man. he HAS TO help himself. you cant keep babying him sweetie. you are too good of a person, compassionate and very caring, to put up with all the negativity he seems to toss your way. how are you dealing today? regardless if he gets on meds and/or takes them, you need to start thinking of you. it isnt fair. you keep giving him outs...he needs to be responsible, not you. i hope you are ok girl. thinking of you...hugs
18 years ago 0 54 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I don't mind at all. I have dealt with my husband being diagnosed with major depression about 7 years ago. Over a period of time he quit the meds, started getting depressed again and left the family. It is very sad and hard for his family. I could not get him to deal with the depression through his therapist and meds. He told us that he was starting meds again, and then he didn't. I just ran out of hope. I had been very strong and supportive of what he was doing but the tears would not stop that day, and I went for help. It was very good for me to know that I can't really do anything until he deals with this. My husband is a stubborn man. This past week he said that he was going to start and if he does he will start coming out of this cloud.The meds worked really well seven years ago. It breaks my heart because what he was running from went right along with him. :)
18 years ago 0 4 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi!! Sorry if I'm being pushy, but can I ask what caused the E.R. visit? Daisy :)

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