I wish I could private messsage you. Theres no feature like that? Heres my dads email aaherat@gmail.com lol he never checks his account haha but my email has my full name which I hesitate to give out on a public forum. Contact me when you feel suicidal. Also there is crisis lines to call like the distress centre 416 408 4357. Also Amet check out the mood disorder. They offer free support by ppl who also have anxiety/depression. I went there for a few months.
I know you dont believe me but I wish you could talk to my siblings and mom when I say I felt the same way too. I actually told my psychologist the same thing that when I panic, seriously I rather be dead than deal with it. Also just living in fear is exhuasting and taxing. So I know how you feel. I totally get it. But this is what I ask myself and I want you to ask the same:
Ugh how the heck do we get through this. I hate having that on edge feeling and like this weird sensation in my chest and throat.
I wouldn't say I feel suicidal but some days I feel like giving up and feel so overwhelmed. It's honestly so difficult to see that there is hope and that this will go away.
I know. I have the same on edge feeling. It's hard to be calm. You feel like something horrible is about to happen. It is the same feelings you get after you watched a scary movie. There's a battle in me too. Yesterday during a presentation I got up and left because I panicked. So believe me when I say youre not alone.
Thanks so much. It's soo hard. I'm having such a difficult week. Alot of crying and roller coaster emotions. I have this like constant on edge feeling that I don't know how to get rid of. Some times it leaves but it just comes right back. It's so frustrating. I feel soo overwhelmed right now like I'm going crazy inside :(. I absolutely hate these feelings and miss my old self. I find it so hard to manage when it gets this bad.
Also when you talk in what ifs, extremes like never, this is your anxious mind talking to you. Because youve identified with it, you are thinking it is true. When you have those thoughts, change the channel. The remote control is in your hands.
On the weekend, you were feeling happier. Sadness is a feeling and they go away unless you are diagnosed with depression.
But feeling sad because anxiety is high is normal. I call this secondary sadness as oppose to primary sadness seen in depression.
Please believe me when I say I feel the same way. We all have great moments and other moments in which we feel totally defeated. It is all part of the process of recovery.
Please stop the self inquiry because it only perpetuates anxiety. Saying things like why isnt it going away, why do I have this, why am I fixated on my breathing are equivalent to asking what is the purpose of life? Why are we here? The reality is no one knows but its an uncertainty we accept. This can be applied to anxiety. Sometimes the triggers are obvious and other times it is more subtle or difficult to pin point. I had the same self inquiry ie. Why did anxiety trigger again but I realized after 1 year, that it does not serve a purpose nor does it help in recovery. All it does is create more fear, which released MORE fight/flight and became a vicious cycle.
Try to practise acceptance. I promise youll overcome this. You are stronger than you think.
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