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Positive Self-Growth from Shari


9 years ago 0 169 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It's awesome to read some success stories on here. It gives us who are still suffering hope.
 
How did you overcome your panic disorder Shari? Do you have some tips for those who are still struggling?
9 years ago 0 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Life IS about continual growth and learning - this is so true.

I think we have all been in a situation where we missed listening to our intuition because we didn't want it to be true. What is important, is that now you know to trust yourself and to watch for red flags. It also sounds like you have learned to care for yourself. It sounds like you have learned to be your own best friend and this is a skill that will stay with you. It is such a gift to believe and care for yourself. These beliefs can really reshape your world and it sounds like that is just what you are doing. It's so nice to hear.
Ashley, Health Educator
9 years ago 0 63 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks Ashley!  I'll post a picture of my new confident blonde self :-) as soon as it will upload.  I also reached my goal weight!

It's funny how blind you can be to yourself.  I hated facing the ugly truth, but awareness is a gift which promotes change and growth toward being the best "you" you can be.  Looking back, I can truly say it was worth all that I went through to get to where I am now.  Life is about continual learning and growth.  I'm not hard on myself anymore and I focus on the positive.  I'm excited about my life and all of the freedom and possibilities.  I stay in the present and don't worry about the future.  Whatever the future brings, I will be able to handle it when the time comes.  I have a large cork board that I use as a vision board or dream board.  It has positive quotes and pictures of what I want to attract in my life.  I also have an Adventure Book (a positive spin on the term Bucket List) and I have printed out pictures of places I want to travel.  My next International trip will be to Tokyo, Japan!  I'd also like to see the Northern Lights in Anchorage, Alaska and go dog sledding!

I am continuing to apply to jobs in Washington D.C.  I got rid of the procrastination habit.  I even sent a bold follow up email to one company.  I said, "Since this is an Entry Level position and I have an AA Degree, I would be happy to volunteer and help out while you're continuing to look at other applicants.  It's a win win situation.  You have temporary free help and I have an opportunity to prove my ability that I am an asset to your company."  I have a new found confidence.  I mean what the heck, the worst they can say is, "No."  I'm not attaching my self-worth to the outcome of whether I get this particular job or not.  My attitude is, it's their loss, and on to the next!  Life is less stressful now that I have gotten out of my own way.  I like the new improved me and I'll keep you posted!  Shari
9 years ago 0 11210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Shari,

Great to hear from you! I am sorry to hear the relationship didn't work out. But it sounds like you learned a TON from the experience and gained a lot of self worth. So to me it sounds positive. I remember there were a few red flags - good for you for listening to yourself and getting out when you did. That takes courage and a lot of strength.

You are an inspiration. I think it is incredible you went back to school and have this amazing attitude. You sound like a different person. WOW! You have lots to look forward to. Be sure to keep us updated.

Ashley, Health Educator
9 years ago 0 63 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Everyone, I came back to visit and share some things I've learned about myself this year.  The last time I posted, I had flown around the world, solo, to S. Korea.  I fell in love with a S. Korean business man and I was working for his flooring company and we were going to get married and travel the world together.  Well, if I had gone SLOWLY and got to know him BEFORE I fell in love with him, I would have saved myself emotional devastation.  I put him on a pedestal and saw him for who I wanted him to be and did not see him for who he actually was.  It turned out he was controlling, critical and a user.  And, I was in DENIAL and ALLOWED it, because I wanted the fairy tale ending.  So...I broke up with him and I stopped lying to myself.  I saw a negative pattern of the types of men (and friends and people in general) that I have been seeking out and attracting.  Humans tend to stick with the familiar and I am very familiar and comfortable with bad relationships.  I need to become comfortable in good and healthy relationships.  Now that I was aware of this self-sabotaging behavior, I needed to change what I do, in order to get a different result.  Shockingly, I discovered I have an unhealthy dependency on people.  I had a false negative belief that I couldn't take care of myself.  I saw other people as strong and powerful and if I could cling onto those people, they would take care of me and I would be alright.  I attracted people who have a sense of entitlement and they saw me coming a mile away.  I gave them my power in exchange for a false sense of security.  I fed into their power egos and fueled the dysfunctional relationship, that was doomed from the start.  Another sad realization is that I would accept "friends" who would treat me like crap, just so I wouldn't be lonely.  So...enough negative and onward in positivity...I've learned not to put all of my focus on one person.  And, to not put all of my hopes and dreams into other people, events or outcomes.  That's a recipe for disappointment.  I'm in charge of my own happiness.  I would rather be in my own good company than to be treated poorly by anyone.  I am becoming self-reliant.  I am learning to trust myself.  I am protecting myself from toxic and harmful people.  I am whole by myself.  I like myself.  Once I liked myself, I couldn't allow other people to treat me with disrespect any longer.  I'm happy to say that I took a workforce class at CSM and I am now a Certified Computer Repair Technician.  I am looking for a job as an IT Help Desk Technician.  I will be able to take care of myself.  I know what qualities to avoid in people and I also know what to look for in people.  If I want to get married in the future, it's a choice.  I don't have to gt married, because I think I can't take care of myself.  I looked back at all of my successes in life and I found one common thread.  I didn't give up, even if it was difficult, scary, out of my comfort zone, had self-doubt and was uncomfortable.  I wanted to quit that computer class 4 times.  I thought I would fail the final, but persistence paid off.  It's how I overcame panic disorder and agoraphobia.  I still use the coping skills I learned here, in all areas of my life.  It's how I got on a plane and flew 35 hours within a 10 day trip.  My two new values are adventure and travel.  I've joined 2 Meetup groups in my area.  I'm learning Spanish as a second language and I'm in a computer group to hone my skills. I'm building confidence.  I'm going to make mistakes and take steps backwards while I'm going forward, but one day those steps back will become less and less until they become a distant memory, like panic attacks and agoraphobia.  Old habits are hard to break, but you keep going and don't quit and never ever give up!  Shari

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