I am not new to the program even so I have started reworking the program today. I have some issues that I am having a hard time dealing with. Like a dental procedure on Monday, plus a relationship issue and trying to deal with my emotions without nicotine. I have given up on the quiting smoking for the time being. I am finding this go though of the program is much different for me than it was 6 months ago. I am learning more about how to identify and deal with my anxious thoughts this time around. I think this refresher is going to help a lot. It is something I need, being that I have changed over the last 6 months. My mind is more open and ready. I am seeing it in a new light. I have gotten through lesson 2 so far and may start on lesson 3 tomorrow. I am taking my time this time around and letting my mind digest the information more slowly. That the plan for now.
I am starting to rework the program here and may go back and do some reading in the depression centering. For me anxiety and depression kind of go together and feed on each other. The 2 programs complement each and have helped me in the past. I have changed a lot since first coming here and I am sure I will learn a lot more this time around.
I have been re reading lessons 1 & 2 for the last two days. I am learning and understanding so much more this time. My last reading of the program was 6 months ago. Its like I have taken off my blinders and am I really seeing it for the first time. Some of it I don't remember reading at all. I found the part about automatic anxious thoughts very relevant to my situation. I also found the section that discusses the different types of anxious thoughts very interesting. There are many things of interest in this Lessons. I have no memory of reading this material. I know I read it. I think maybe its because my mind is calmer now and I able to absorb more of the material. I have been working on the program like I said for 6 months..... I have definitely changed in some way. I can't quite put a finger on it but I am liking the it. This is very interesting to me. I am so glad that I decided to re work it is helping me understand myself a lot more and is in turn helping me to make more progress.
I see what you mean. It is hard to make decisions while you are having anxiety because you can not see the picture clearly.
Of course for me making decisions causes me some anxiety. I do get into the what if thinking and also the catastrophe type thinking. I think this re read was a good idea for me. May be I will try journaling and see if that helps. When I went to grief groups back in 2003 they suggested journaling and I just couldn't do it. I wasn't ready to face my feeling at that time. I think I may be able to do so now. For some reason the thought of it gets my anxiety all stirred up. I think it is fear. If I can post here than I should be able to journal. I did find out going to grief groups that it is a process with many stages and everyone goes through it in their own way and order and in there own time frame. I went to this group for a year and every time I went though the 12 sessions I learned something new because my mind was ready to accept it and make sense of it because I had progressed a little more each time we went over the material. I think it is the same way with this program. I didn't get Anxiety attacks and Agoraphobia over night and it will take time to fully recover. It is a ongoing process.
Enough about me, it is good to hear that you were able to expand your safe zone without noticing it, this is real progress and you are right to be proud of it. This is progress also, being proud of your accomplishments. It is also great to hear that you are getting better and your white count is normal. I am glad to see you are on the road to recovery in more ways than one. Keep doing what your doing and you will be well in no time.
In order to really understand negative core beliefs in the first place I am going to need to sign into the depression center and study the lesson there again. I just took a brief look at it before posting here. It has been a really long time since I read it so I am not ready to do the exercise here yet.. After doing that I will be better equipped to answer the questions here. I am sure that the exercise you have posted here will help with my depression.
Thanks for listening and for the very helpful advice on journaling and reading all I can on core beliefs. I also just posted to the new Mods subject on core beliefs and am going to sign back in on the depression center and do a little reading. There is a lot of information there on core beliefs. Thanks for mentioning the core beliefs I had forgotten all about them. More stuff to read that I have forgotten. Well I am a little tired now so I am going to rest my mind for a while before I start reading again.
I don't want to burn out, my already burned out mind..... That is part of my problem I was really burned out both physically and emotionally before I started working on the programs here..... Now I am taking it slow and easy. I am glad you are here this weekend. It has been nice talking with you.... Take care.
Its good to see you. I have been thinking about you and wondering how you have been doing. As for the venting I think it is good for you, vent your heart out. I had someone close to me tell me I have a anger problem. Thats funny because I was told about 36 years ago by a psych that I had a problem expressing my anger and that was why I was depressed and self destructing. I think it is healthy to vent and speak your mind. I just think other people can't stand hearing the truth thats all.
I was justing getting the hang of venting and this person had to make me feel guilty. You just keep on venting and I will too.
I think it is healthy. It sure is better than holding everything in and getting physically and emotionally sick and self destructing.
Welcome back, Its sound like you have been doing a lot of exposure while you were gone. Fighting the urge to run takes a lot of strength. You should be very proud of these accomplishments.. I have a dental procedure tomorrow and I have been worrying about it for a few days now. Just thinking about it gets the anxiety going, the catastrophic and what if thinking. I will be relieved when it is over. You might find it very helpful to start reading the program over again. I have just started and it is helping. I too am Agoraphobic and have been for many years. There are a few of us here, so know you are not alone in fighting this problem. We do understand.
Welcome to the support group. Don't worry about the length of your post. Its about half the length of most of my posts. As for the Meds I worry when ever I take Rx. medication thats new. Lots of people here do. Thats pretty normal. I think.
Its good to hear you are feeling better and were able to take a lunch break and relax. It sounds like the new position was a good idea. Wishing you luck.
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