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Posts created by Swig Nomore

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

Ready to taking back control

Hi AHC members,

I found this site while searching the web for online help with my alcohol addiction. I have been sober for the past three days (longest time in many years) and I wish to remain sober forever. This is my first attempt to do something about my drinking as I've been in denial to the fact that alcohol has more control over me than I have over it. My dear Grandmother (bless her soul) often told be "the devil is in the bottle" and I have learned through my experiences that her perception was a very accurate one. After a weekend of excessive drinking and a day of serious reflection, I have decided its time to take back control and leave the devil in the bottle and not remove the cap. I know it going to be a very big challenge with many obstacles to overcome, but I feel confident that I can accomplish my goal and just reading other posts here is inspiring and encouraging to keep fighting the good fight.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

Ready to taking back control

Thank-you all for the welcome Unfortunate as our situations may be, it is nice to know that whatever demons we deal with there is always someone whom can relate and provide the re-enforcement need to battle on. thank-you all again and look forward to many more posts

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

"devil in the bottle"

In my first post I made the comparison of alcohol to the “devil in the bottle” and I would like to expand on it a little further. I don’t consider my alcohol addiction a disease, I consider it a weakness that I’ve ignored and allowed to become my norm. Just as all living things require oxygen to survive, the devil in the bottle needs alcohol to survive. When the devil leaves the bottle and slips into my body, it desires one thing, and one thing only; alcohol. The more alcohol I feed it, the more alcohol it wants, until I’m physically drained and unable to feed it anymore. The devil just lies dormant in my body for a short while but soon goes into survival mode as it begins to yearn for alcohol once again. The cycle continues until I take back control with my will, my strength, and a commitment to starve the devil of it one desire. I must continue to show my resolve and tell myself that I am much stronger than the devil’s desire, and I must remain vigilant to the many devious ways the devil will challenge me.

It’s tough, but 4 days sober, and the weekend challenge is near.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

I did it!

Way to go Sprout!

You should be proud of your accomplishments thus far. You have proven to yourself that you are the one in control and not alcohol. If you can do it for the past 5 days, there is nothing to prevent you from doing the same for the next 5 weeks, the next 5 months, and the next 5 years, etc. You are in control. You are the keeper of your own body and you are the one whom decides what enters it. Keep up the good fight, for you are much stronger than alcohol's desire.

Have a great sober weekend with your family!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

Ready to taking back control

Thank-you for the welcome Ashley, The weekend has been going well thus far. Its been a challenge, but I am confident and determined to see it through in a sober state.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

"devil in the bottle"

Ashley I'm not sure if I can pinpoint exactly how, but I came to the realization that one drink was never enough very early into my adulthood. I was always the last to leave the party (well, the ones I can remember). I could have one drink at a friends house and shortly thereafter find myself stopping at the nearest liquor store to satisfy my want. Even though I understood that one was never enough, I accepted that as part of my drinking. I would often tell myself "what's the sense in having just one, alcohol was created to give you a buzz. If I'm only going to have one, its just as well to have a glass of water". Funny thing though, I would never opt for that glass of water. For many years I could hide the amount I was drinking, maybe my 6'2" 225 lb frame could conceal the truth most times, but as the amount consumed increased it became more obvious that I could no longer mask it. Alcohol was taking more control over me, than I over it. It has taken me a few years to finally say "I need to take back control", and I already know that moderation do not work for me.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

Ready to taking back control

Wow! Made it through my first weekend sober, a first in approx 20 years. Temptation crept in often, the biggest came Sunday afternoon while visiting a friend and he asked if I could pick up a six pack of beer for him during my drive to his place. I stopped at the store, bought the beer, and looked at it a number of times before I reached my friends house and I actually talked to it (the devil), telling it "I'm stronger than you, you will not get the better of me".

I kept myself pre-occupied and did something new this weekend; I trans-planted some young spruce trees in my front yard with my 11 yr old daughter. We found the young trees growing near a rocky ATV trail that we were riding. While planting the trees I began to compare them to myself; different surroundings, a new beginning, and less hurdles to overcome to sustain growth. I looked at our little trees before going to work this morning and concluded that they will be the visible reminder of my own future progession. Hopefully they will flourish and stand tall.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

Ready to taking back control

[b]Preaching may lead you onto the correct path, practice will determine how far you'll travel[/b]

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

I did it!

Hey Sprout, don't beat yourself up over this. Keep up the fight with the same determination you maintained for the first 6 days of your journey, you are even more wise now! Many of the people are here on this wonderful website because one is one too many, I know I am. The devil/beast is very greedy and will trick you into feeding its only desire; MORE alcohol. For me, moderation was just too moderate. I agree with your statement; "I have to do this for myself", but I disagree with; "I have to do this by myself". You have family, friends, and the support of a whole community here to help you along. Stay with it, you are much stronger than alcohol's desire. And continue to tell yourself "I'll never drink again". You and others here at AHC has inspired me to stay sober for the past week (thank-you!).

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 55

Alcohol or Smoking or Both

Along with my alcohol addiction, I am also battling with my first and oldest addiction; nicotine.

Maybe I’ve just subconsciously decided to punish myself for the years of abuse I’ve inflicted on my body, or maybe I am testing the limitations of my mental and physical capacity. But the day following my decision to stop drinking, I also stopped smoking. I am proud to say that I not only have a week of sobriety under my belt but I’m also 6 days smoke free. I have questioned myself a number of times since; have I taken on too much too soon? I am generally a very calm laidback type of person who doesn’t display a lot of emotion, but this past week I’ve noticed that I am easily agitated and I’m probably not the most pleasant person to be around at this time. The one positive thing I see with battling my two addictions at once is that I’m not sure which craving is causing the moments of anxiety. I am thinking that my smoking cessation withdrawals are overshadowing my alcohol cessation withdrawals but I cannot say for sure. Would really appreciate feedback from anyone who has been there???

Alcohol has always been a trigger for my smoking addiction and when I substituted smoking cigarettes with smoking cigars, the cigars became a trigger for alcohol and vise-versa. Nevertheless I convinced myself that I was making some sort of progress; hey, I gave up cigarettes! Last week when I quit drinking I concluded it was time to quit smoking also for it was when I was drinking I smoked the most.

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