Every day sober is mirical to me. Day 10, I will not waver today that is for sure.
My name is Bert and I am an alcoholic. I am 33 days into my first experience in 25 years of sobrioty and I have never felt better. It apears to me based on what you have said that 1. You are powerless over alcohol and that your life has become un managable. If this is the case and you are ready to admitt it I suggest that you get to a meeting ASAP. The follow ship of AA is very helpful. If you are a true alcoholic, I am not saying you are, that is for you to decide. But if you are your chances are less then average without help.