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9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

Introducing myself

My name is Amit. I have had depression throughout my entire life. From 2012 to 2013 was my recent year without depression. It all started when I got fired from a job I had spent a year applying at. My marriage has fallen apart after 10 years. I have a child whom I miss. Our marriage was fine in 2012-2013. However, when her parents arrived from overseas in 2014; we were all living in a 1 bedroom apartment; 4 adults and a child from April to Dec 2014. Late 2014, I lost my temper and punched a hole in the wall. 2 weeks after, social services got involved and instead of taking my son away, seperated my wife and I. Since Decemebr 19, my wife and I have barely spoken. I cope depression the wrong way. I have trouble concentrating at work. I am told to give up and move on from the marriage but I do not know what to do.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

Introducing myself

Hi there Ashley. Thank you for your reply. I have and still am going through difficult times. Each night I cry because I miss them. I cry because I am in pain. I only look at the negative side to this and nothing positive. I am coping in a bad way at the moment and I do know from my own prespective is that this coping was not in a bad way for me before. I have gone to see a counsellor through LifeWorks last week Saturday and going back again this Saturday. They are going to set me up with an Anger Management course. Also, advising that I should get anti-depresant medication. And to the other person, yes, the living environment was horrible. But in her case, it was alright for her. As soon as her parents arrived, her focus turned more into her parents than me. Of course, she still had focus for our son, but I was pretty much left out of the picture until I did something bad. I regret punching the hole in the wall and I do regret what I did. I just wish I handled it differently. I only wish that our living environment was different or that my wife had equal attention. Last night I cried just before asleep and I woke up late and arrived late for work. I am not usually late as I am mostly on time. I wish my sadness can go away.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

Introducing myself

And I do not want to make a big life decision and end my marriage. The time line doesnt add up for me to do that. I do not want to give up. I want to be back with my family. But if she chooses to be with her parents over me, that is not fair. I do want to get better.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

Introducing myself

Although I know I got lot of work to do, I am just afraid of making that change since I have been through this before. I also do not know if or wheather or not I can forgive her or myself.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

Introducing myself

It is now 1 year since her parents came. I sometimes regret the moments that occured during this time. Had our living conditions been different, perhaps, we would still be together. But the past is the past and I cannot change it. I wish I can stop thinking about it and start hoping. Now time will tell when they go back or when my wife actually starts caring. In the mean time, I have been seeking our counselling through life works and I am in the middle of seeking Anger Management. Time will only tell when and if this depression will go away.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

Introducing myself

I wish I had more control but time will only tell. I thought I can control my own emotions by getting help. But as time goes by, I still cry every night thinking why did this happen? Why can I not be with my own wife and child? I cry because I miss them. I cry because I need them and I wish that she can see that. I feel trapped and paralyzed.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

Do you deserve better?

I wish I deserved better. I am currently going through a temporary seperation with a child. I try my best to be the best I can be but it seems like I am always given punishment for something I have not committed. I have little confidence. I have little faith in myself.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

Failing in relationship. Help!

I am just like Summer. I am going though something as well. I have been married for 10 years. You are right, nobody is perfect. We had our ups and downs. In April of last year, her parents came from over seas on a Visa and we were all living in a 1 bedroom apartment with a child as well. Back in December, 2014, I lost my temper and punched a hole in the wall. 2 weeks after, social services got involved and we have been seperated since. As per her parents, everything has to be perfect. Everything has to go according to what they believe. Now as time goes by, I cry every night. I barely eat. I have little contol of not eating McDonalds or drinking. Some pieces of my heart says it is not over because her parents are not here forever but some pieces tell me that it is both of our fault and I dont deserve this. Because now she has not spoken to me in a month and it seems like she would rather choose her parents to live with than me. I do not understand because we are east indian and if you know east indian culture, it can be tough. I was born in Canada but she was born in India....its like a war between Canada and India..and no matter where you go to, everything has to be in an Indian way.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

Feeling unsure on setbacks and decisions

As you may know by now that I am going through a lot of emotional pain. Sometimes I feel that my relationship is over and it is hurting me. On the other hand, I feel that my relationship will work out and just needs time. For the time being, I cry less because I feel more tired. I have constant stress which includes back and neck pain, upset stomach, trouble sleeping and eating. I used to enjoy watching airplanes but now I dont feel like it. I enjoyed hanging out with friends but not as much right now. I dont know if I want my wife back. I dont know if I want to change or have a replacement. Only reason why is because what she did to me. Can or should I forgive her?

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 47

Introducing myself

Hi Ashley. Thank you for the reply. You may call me Amit as Amit is my name.
Yes I miss them very much and I cannot live without them.
Counselling is going okay. I have been going to a drop in center
from December 26 up until now. For 2 weeks now, I have been going
to a counsellor through work. I wish I felt more at ease by
going to counselling but sometimes I feel the same; alone, sad
and empty. What I am doing to cope with difficult times is watch
my favorite shows, hang out with friends. Sometimes, I will go and do
something stupid by trying to find a companionship because that is what
I am missing. I do not want a replacement. Sometimes I have hope but sometimes I still cry. Thank you for your comment. I am going through pain everyday.

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