I've been off work on a leave of absence because of my depression for a little over a week now. I thought getting away from that environment would be helpful, and for the first few days I felt great not having to get up and go to work. But now I'm feeling more and more miserable, just like I did when I was at work. I know that getting outside and walking my dog makes me feel better, but it's so hard to find the motivation to actually get up off the couch. I have a big dog that needs a lot of exercise so he'll bug me until I take him, but at that point I'm so upset and so irritated because I don't have any motivation to do it on my own.
This morning was a really bad one.....I got up to drive my boyfriend to work and then came back home and just lied on the couch for hours watching tv/a movie. The entire time I had that horribly familiar depressed, painful feeling.....the one where it feels like there's a really heavy weight on my chest and it's going to burst either through tears or just rip through me. I don't know how else to explain it really.....it feels like my heart and everything else in my chest is broken, for no reason, and I don't can't do anything. Can anyone else relate to this? Is there anything that I can to stop, or lighten this feeling? How can I gain motivation?
Today I actually feel much better....that seems to be the way it is right now with me, I'll be really down and hurting for a few days. then I'll feel much better for a day or 2, then back to feeling really down. This morning I took my dog out for walk without having to fight myself on it which was great, but I know I will soon lose the motivation and it will become a terrible struggle again. I know that I will always feel better after being outside but it's so hard to push myself to do it regardless. Even with something as simple as making my bed....some days I just don't feel like doing it, even though I know I'll be happier when I come later and see that it's done.
Hi David....I had issues with session 1 as well, I don't think there is a way to go back to review the material for that one. I'm in my second week now and I can review Session 2 material by clicking on the 'progress' tab on my session diary, but not session 1. You can view all the samples for the forms (activity tracker, etc...) on the session diary main page as well.
I started on Effexor in july 2014, which is the first antidepressant I've ever been on. Started at 37.5mg and over the course of a couple months was increased to 150mg. The first 2 weeks were brutal for side effects....I couldn't sleep for 4 nights, constant headaches, yawning all day everyday and was clenching my jaws all the time to try and stop the yawning, which resulted in an even worse headache. After the worst of those symptoms started to disappear I was left with a very light headed/dazed feeling. Since those first 2 weeks though I haven't noticed any side effects.
In October 2014, I went back to my doctor because I still hadn't noticed any positive changes. Doc wanted to get rid of effexor and start me on Cymbalta, but that one (as well as pristiq) is not covered by my medical plan. So instead he decided to keep me on effexor at 150mg and add a second medication, wellbutrin, at an equal dose of 150mg.
With the addition of Wellbutrin, I noticed that my body temperature was rising a lot. I'm in British Columbia and it was quite cold here a few weeks ago, but I would be walking my dog outside in a t-shirt because if I put on a jacket or sweater I would get really hot and start sweating a lot. After playing charades at a family get together one night I started getting really really hot and after acting out 'skip rope' I had to go outside because my face was beat red and was dripping sweat!! I ended up sitting outside in a tank top in -2 degree weather for 10 minutes before I got back to a normal temperature. After that I couldn't handle it anymore and went back to my doctor to get off wellbutrin.
Now, I'm just on effexor and taking a dose of 187mg.....I think that after being on effexor since july I should have noticed a change in my depression by now? I'm guessing that effexor probably isn't working for me either, in the new year I'll go back to my doctor and ask for something new to try.
Hi galianna.....I just read the entire thread, and I feel really bad that you feel lonely here, I feel the same way...I've only posted twice, and didn't get much in reply. I think I would feel better just to post on my own, without worrying whether I get responses or not but easier said than done. Every time I read someone's post I want to reply, just because I don't want you or anyone else feeling like they're alone here just like I do sometimes, but when it comes down to it I just can't find the right words to type or I feel like anything I have to say is dumb anyway. I will try to say Hi to you when I can, but if I don't please don't think that you're alone because I (and probably others) are just more scared of responding.
Good job calling lifeworks!! I did that before starting these sessions....I was referred to a counselor in person though because I am a bit wary of talking on the phone as well. I had 6 sessions with my counselor and walked away with some important skills, but 6 sessions wasn't nearly enough so that's why I came here.
Good job taking the step to be here and move forward.....I've been struggling with it, it took me 2.5 weeks to get from session 3-4 but I do believe this program will work in time. Stick with it!
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