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Posts created by SadSally52

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

First time

Hi there. Am a little shy about all this but I can type things better than I can speak them. Just had a visit from my minister and, of course, cried most of the time. I told her I feel like I am just feeling sorry for myself and am feeling guilty about no going to work. I have been off work for almost a month now on stress leave. My doctor just keeps sending a note to my boss to tell him that I am still unfit for work. I am worried that I may lose my job or that I will never feel like going back. However, I am the steady breadwinner at the moment. My husband has been off work for 2 years and just does seasonal work around here. I am just tired of going to work even though I think I still like what I do. Anyways, this is me right now.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

First time

Thanks for being there, Samantha. I really appreciate receiving mail and the encouragement.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

Lots of Rambling about all sorts of stuff

I started this to be under Medications but couldn't stop at that so here goes.

Hi there. I am a walking drug store. I have been treated for Depression for, I think, 20 years. I have tried all sorts of depression drugs until finally the right concoction was found. Currently I am on Mirapax for RLS, Accupril & Diovan HCT for High Blood Pressure, Lipitor for Cholestrol, Pantaloc for Heart Burn, and Desipramine 50mg & Venlafaxine XR 225mg for Depression. When.my depression once again reared its ugly head again awhile back, we added 25mg more Desipramine but, after less than a week I was taken off it because it made me very anxious and feel like screaming. Then I was put on Clonazepam .25 AM and .25 PM. Now I am on 0.125 AM and 0.25 PM and it seems to have calmed me down.

However, I (after alot of phone calls and tears and over one month) am finally going to see a counselor next week. I have alot of "issues" that need to be addressed and maybe I can finally get rid of all my inner problems. I do know that I have a very hard time letting anyone in to help me. I have always had it in my mind that no one can help me but me. But obviously this isn't working.

I am feeling guilty about not being at work now for about a month and worry about having a job to come back to. I went in to see my boss yesterday (got through it without crying) and found out that they are hiring a fulltime part-time person. He wanted to tell me in person so that I wouldn't get the shock of seeing the ad in the local paper. Now, as I am typing this, I am starting to feel anxious about who they will be hiring--will I be able to work with that person? Should I tell my boss that I want to be included in the interviews? Oh, boy, here I go again!!.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

Tried Going back to work....didn't really work out so well...

Today I am feeling like a "fake". I feel like I should be back at work. I have been off for about a month and yesterday, when I visited my boss, I did not cry. I have been on the Ceridian program for 2 days. I am trying to fill in my Activity Schedule but I don't like filling things out by pen. I seem to be able to say things through my fingers on the computer--I have been working with computers forever and really don't know how to hand write. At the moment I don't feel like I am depressed. Is this normal? Am I really ill?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

Lots of Rambling about all sorts of stuff

Hi Ashley,

I guess, because I am down, I worry that the person hired will not take me serious, even though I have been there for 9.5 years. I have to admit that I don't share very well because I feel uncertain about myself. I worry that the assistant could do better than me!! I just can't help it. I have been that way all my life it seems! I want to keep this job until I retire which won't be for another 7 years (so that I can get a pension). When I was growing up, I was the oldest of 5 kids. However, I have the least confidence of all of them!

Should I be approaching my boss about the possibility of helping in the hiring?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

Medications that can worsen anxiety symptoms

Can steroid shots in the spine affect this or is it just oral medication?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

Fun?

I think I would tell them to try and forget their everyday life and get in the moment of doing something they love. Don't worry about what others think or that you may be acting silly. If it feels good then do it! (Within reason, of course. i.e. not physically, mentally, or morally hurtful.)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

Tried Going back to work....didn't really work out so well...

I went back and tried to delete the preceding message so I wasn't able to receive an answer to my question. However, maybe I have been treated for depression for so long, I don't really know if I am a fake or not. Could that be possible?

Also, I just read the bit about jotting down activities and thoughts as I go all day, not just hour by hour. Maybe I'll try that so then I can fill in my Activity Schedule.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

Tried Going back to work....didn't really work out so well...

Ashley

I had all the symptoms of depression, especially when I had to be with other people--crying whenever someone at work spoke to me, crying when someone sympathized with me, crying when I had to explain why I felt depressed, not wanting to socialize at all, feeling useless, etc. However after a few days of stress leave, when I am at home alone, I don't have these feelings right now because I don't have to talk to anyone or answer the phone unless it is someone I know, eg. my daughter. As long as I don't have to be around people and explain myself, I am perfectly content. I can make my lists, do what I can on them, and feel like I accomplished something when I can cross off one thing. I like to be by myself but I do feel guilty when I discourage anyone from coming to see me. I lose all track of days and time.

Maybe, though, it is time for me to go back to work--at least for a few hours a day next week. At least there I can hide in my corner and know exactly what I need to do--not have to try and figure out what to do next. I realize I am rambling but that's the way things have been unless I make a list. I sound like a crazy woman at times!!!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

Support Group Dos and Don´ts

Thank-you, Ashley, for these do's and don't's. These can also be used by coworkers of depressed people. However, the only problem is trying to give this advice to them.

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