many of us here have been through similar things ( im sorry to hear about your tragic loss) and the best advice i could give would be to read through all the lessions/advice sections and even print them and read them again before going to sleep.
Beating the panic disorder/attacks will help with the other symptoms of depression etc.
You can do it and we are here if you want to ask more questions or just get things off your chest.
I find it very helpful to talk to other sufferers as i know that they truly understand what im talking about and they DO listen and care,
Im not through it totally yet but im a good ways there.
in fact i had a major attack today.
But thanks to the methods/tips/advice of forums like this and self belief i managed to fight it off so far. Still got physical symptons right now as i post this but lying on my bed and BELIEVING im going to beat it and all will go away in a few minutes.
Self belief is truly the key for me. For years i didnt believe it was "beatable/cureable" but now i do.
Since i gained this belief attacks have dramatically lessened.
Todays attack was triggered by an insect bite which took me full circle to the start of my problem. I had an allergic reaction to an anti histamine injection over 20 years ago and almost died (anaphalactic shock). Every time i felt a bodily sensation since then i would have an attack
the insect bite didnt bother me at all today and i didnt consciously even think about it, but PD/PA are sneaky characters and attacked me on the walk back to my home. I was 10 minutes away from my "castle" and barely managed to fight it off in the middle of a street full of strangers and almost fainted ( or thought i would).
But here i am safe and well and typing here. Still full of body tingles and sensations but BELEIVING im safe and it will go away soon.
Go away mr Panic - im going to kick you out forever very soon!
i found having someone i could phone helped me a lot when i was having an attack and couldnt control it as quickly i would have liked. I told them in advance of course about what happened during PA/anxiety and that i would call and what it would be about so they didnt get alarmed. This was often enough to get me back on track and kill the attack.
Do you have a good friend you can confide in and phone when mums not around? - a little reassurance that you know your not alone and helpless can take the edge off an attack.
I hope when you have your lovely baby in 5 months time you wont have any time for anxiety - you will be kept very busy!
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