I am off work for a few weeks after a particularly bad attack which caused me to rethink my meds. I have had panic disorder almost as long as I can remember and I am 54 now. I have had long periods of good times where panic was low and other times when I was agoraphobic. I have been on many drug treatments such as xanex, prozac, effexor and propranonol(sp). I work as a victim advocate in the criminal justice system providing support to victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and child abuse. Having panic disorder is a blessing and a curse. A blessing as it helps me understand what many of my clients are going through and a curse when my anxiety prevents me from giving my all in my profession. My particular trigger now is mostly if my heart beats fast or funny as years ago as a fitness instructor I had the same triggers and ended up leaving the profession.
Thankfully my employer (government) is under more pressure to recognize and support mental illness but I am still frustrated at the assumptions people arrive at when you "come out" about the disorder. My Doctor has a 10 min policy with all patients so difficult to find time to speak to her about anything other than increasing the medications. I am very happy to find this site. I do have the anxiety workbooks but I think this site has the benefit of providing support from others going through this.
I have finished part one and am going to do my homework and have discussed this with my very supportive partner. My homework will be to increase my physical activity which is something I avoid once panic sets in. I am also weaning off effexor and going back on prozac which helped me for years. The rivotril I am taking at the moment is so effective that it is hard to bring on an attack but I don't plan to be on it long.
Looking forward to meeting others and finding and sharing support
Thanks for the support and am so glad I found this site. I have one more week off work and as of today I took my last (I hope) effexor and am going to continue on the prozac which has helped in the past. I am now only taking one rivotril as I am aware of the addictive qualities of this drug. Had a great walk in the woods today with my dog in the snow. I did not have an anxious moment and in fact felt really good. I think getting outside in the fresh air helps a lot. My energy is coming back and I am not having panic when my heart speeds up or skips.
Is anyone else frustrated by the stigma attached to panic disorder? My manager even asked me what I wanted her to tell my colleagues about why I was off? When I was off having treatment for breast cancer I received flowers and best wishes. It is time to change people's perceptions of mental/brain health. That is my rant for the day.
I just turned 54 and still have the occasional setbacks like now. The times I have been the best is when I have taken regular exercise and taken good care of myself. I have to present in front of groups and find that using powerpoint helps to keep focused. I keep asking for more opportunities to speak in front of people as the more you do something the easier it gets but I usually have to take a mild tranquillizer to actually get through them lol. Hang in there.
I work in the justice system with lawyers and crowns and have become very open about my panic disorder. I find talking about it helps although I usually talk about it in a humorous manner. I once left a crown attorney at a conference when I was to drive him back home as we had a big trial the next day. I could not wait for him as the panic was too bad and I just wanted to flee to home. I joke about it with him now. The biggest thing I regret is years ago leaving a career in recreation because of my panic disorder. A good employer should try and accommodate as they would if you had a physical disability.
By the way anti-depressants and other anti anxiety drugs can be very effective in the short term to stop the attacks in their tracks.
I am always thinking I am dying especially when my heart skips a beat or starts beating too fast. Funny thing is that in 35 odd years of this I have not died yet! I am like you in that I can explain everything about panic disorder and help others through it but when I am gripped with fear I cannot self talk myself out of it. I have often talked a client at work through a panic attack but the techniques do not seem to help with me. I read in one of my books that people with panic disorder have very creative minds. I know my mind can imagine just about anything.
Talking about this helps a lot so let's keep talking.
Thanks for your positive words. I wish I could change my physician but I live in Canada in a city where there has been an extreme shortage of doctors. New doctors will only take patients who are without Doctors. My Doctor is capable but her answer to everything is a prescription as she is not one for talking. She has never referred to me by name and never recalls any of my history though I have been with her for 7 years. My partner goes to her as well and he also feels frustrated by the lack of time to discuss anything. However I have been told the key is to book a double appointment which I have done for the next time I see her. She is not going to be happy that I switched from effexor to prozac while seeing the retired doctor that was filling in for her. He was a great doctor but he only see's his senior patients.
One thing I cling on to is that panic disorder is supposed to subside with age. My father is rarely bothered by it anymore.
This site is so helpful and I have added it to our resources at work as I have so many clients who have panic disorder usually related to the crime they have been the victim of.
I was so touched by your honesty and understand your frustration. I have had panic attacks since I was very young. I am 54 now and have in the most part learned to cope. I don't know how old you are but I note you have a supportive partner. I also find writing about my experiences helps. Humour helps as well. I can laugh at all my experiences although at the time I was scared out of my mind. I have had phases in my life when I became very introspective and sensed every heartbeat and every breath. I could not grocery shop or go to a movie. However I did talk to psychologists and psychiatrists and have tried many different prescription drugs. I have found that the benzo drugs cut out my panic completely but I am afraid of getting hooked on them. Prozac worked for many years and so did effexor but now I am trying different methods. I have bought the newer anxiety workbook and am trying to look at nutrition and supplements. There is a fine line between focusing too much on the anxiety and doing work to change things. When I am at my best is when I have regular fitness and keep my life moderately stress free. I work in a social work type field with victims of crime and it helps to recognize that there are many people worse off than me. I now see my panic attacks as somewhat as a saviour for me as I usually do not have one or many unless there is accumulated stress in my life. That is my reminder to slow down and re-examine what is happening in my life. I have been on antidepressants for years but am now thinking that I would like to try a different approach only because I have had non invasive cancer and feel I need to look at what is being put in my body.
I hope you are getting some help from professionals as I think that is important. Panic attacks are horrible, I have survived breast cancer, radiation, child birth etc and would take any of those things over a panic attack. It has been a bad few years as many of my close friends have had cancer and my sister died of cancer at 49. A close male friend of mine is dying now of cancer and we were close as he too suffered from panic disorder for years.
Please feel free to write whenever.. it helps me too
Sharon
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