I'm Gemma and fairly new to this. This post really resonated with me. How are you all doing today? I have tried several times before to quit or cut back on my drinking and have been mostly unsuccessful. I quit for a year at one point and then relapsed after someone intentionally gave me alcohol in my "virgin' drink. I don't blame them, I had just experienced a huge trauma and was probably on the verge of relapsing. I then convinced myself I could handle it - and did for a while. I then seemed to find every excuse in the books to drink and where I used to stop at 2 or 3 I now find I don't stop until 4-6. In March I learned some devastating news and my extended family is in the midst of a huge court battle. Since then when I do drink its usually 4 drinks. I wake up feeling depressed and defeated and usually hungover. I usually drink 3-4 days per week and consume 12-17 drinks per week. Its creating mental health issues, I've gained weight and occasionally black out. I know I should quit, but my short term goal is to cut down. Currently I am trying to stick to my goal of no more than 6 drinks per week, no more that 2 per occasion and no more than 3 times per week. Last night I didn't stick to that.
I notice that you're on here quite often. Thank you for your presence. I'm pretty depressed today and having a response helped. I don't want to admit I have a problem. I feel like my brain is telling me I can stop even though the evidence shows that I can't moderate long term. I'm just focusing on today. My goal today is not to drink. I'm going out for dinner with my husband tonight and will not drink. Thanks again.
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