First Post
Thank you Junes, Lynn and Dave.
My hubby is out playing hockey and my two year old is asleep so (I'm afraid to say it in case I jynx myself), I have a few minutes to myself.
I can tell already that this is a very supportive place to go and I can't tell you how great that feels. I sometimes feel that my inability to connect with anyone on the level I need has really played the biggest impact on my bad choices over the years.
Junes, it seems I'm kind of in the same situation you are as my families on both sides don't ever get together without quite a lot of alcohol. Of course none of them have problems with it, so they don't recognize my concern and normally I just say to hell with it - if they're doing it, so will I. What's the point in suffering discomfort in silence. I think your suggestions are good ones although my only issue with NOT having a drink is that at the stage I'm at people immediately ask me if I'm pregnant. And I'd rather avoid that all together!
Lynn, isn't it the greatest feeling in the world to wake up clear headed, positive and ready for the day? I recently finished reading a really good book called "Her Best Kept Secret" (at least I really enjoyed it) and at the very beginning it mentions the struggles of women, how wonderful it feels to be clearheaded, but that triggers just drip drip drip like a leaky faucet. Anyway I digress... I'm slowly trying to teach myself to place less emphasis on the negative (automatic for me) and more conscious awareness around the times where I feel GOOD. It's empowering. You remember that as you enjoy DAY THREE AF, Lynn. :)
And Dave, thank you for your long and thoughtful response. I'll confess that I'm a bit of a closet dependent in terms of people as well as alcohol, and I was worried when I posted that no one would respond. It's almost like "Wow, is this really possible that people are so supportive?" I am trying very hard to change my behaviour and my negative thoughts. I don't think I'll be able to stop completely in the near future but I sure do want to cut down. I don't want the mid-afternoon thought of the bottle of wine in my fridge to fill my body with a sense of peace anymore. I don't alcohol to have that power anymore. Thank you for your advice, and I have also heard about how powerful it is to say "no thanks" when someone offers you a drink. And you are soooooo right when you say people won't actually care if I'm drinking; they'll just find somebody else. That's hard for me because I take perceived rejection hard, and of course I never whine about it, I just fix it by having a drink. Vicious circle! Expecting discomfort while changing a behaviour is the scariest part for me. And I will trust your words when you say that it passes because I haven't really been there yet.
I'm lucky enough to have decent benefits working for the government and can afford a minimal amount of time talking to a therapist. She suggested putting three elastic bands around my arm (or four, if I decide) on Saturday and taking one off after each drink. No more elastics, no more drinks. If don't want to take the elastic off and my wine is almost empty, top it up with soda water. It's hard to predict what will work when the stressor is right there in front of you, but I am going to take all your suggestions to heart and really try this time. Wish me luck and thank you so much for taking the time out for me.
SLEEP WELL EVERYONE (Especially those who don't tend to be so lucky in that department).
