Non thinking has been an issue for me. I did not think through the action when I went back to drinking again. If I did, I would have been reminded of the trouble and agony it caused me, and those around me, in the past.
I try and be as contented as humanly possible every day. I know there are challenges, but I can handle them when I stay contented and calm. I do everything I can to avoid being restless and irritable. I have so much internal peace when I conduct my days this way.
I know I'm only in week 4, but this is the combined formula I need to follow.
Have a great day guys!
foxman @ Mar 23, 2021 8:25:51 AM
I don’t know what changed in my mindset that made me go back drinking? I really don’t. I wish I had recorded how my thinking changed.
I totally get it. The book calls it the "Blank Spots" or Peculiar mental twists. The mind doesnt operate at all (From Bills story: Someone offered me a drink and i took it) or the voice in the head (An ounce of whiskey in milk on a full stomach wont hurt, from the car salesman story). In either case, the problem drinker acts on that thought/no thought and then the craving kicks in and then they get drunk.
My understanding is, it takes a deep level, at the gut-wrenching level, that we have a problem with drinking but thats just the first step in recovery. Then belief in some process that can restore us to sanity. So we have a clear understanding about ourselves and our relationship with alcohol. As we start working on the reminder of the steps, we will be restored to sanity.
Most people i know who have worked the steps and continue to make progress hardly have to worry about being drunk again. Few do go out. Thats because of the individual. We are human, occasionally we do get resentful and if we dont act quick, the chance of going back is very good. Thats why the book talks about being contingent of being spiritual fit. So i try hard not to be restless irritable and discontented.
Four weeks alcohol free. Starting week 5 alcohol free tomorrow morning.
What is making this stick this time? Mindset. My mindset is proper this time. I know alcohol is not doing anything for me.
Have a great week everyone!
Gus
Hey guys,
This is the start of week 5 alcohol fee for me. Had a great weekend Alcohol free!
I realize that my ability to think deeply and longer is greatly improved by not drinking. Drinking seemed to completely mess up my thinking. Did any of you find your ability to think improved when you stopped alcohol?
Any feedback would be appreciated.
Thanks
Gus
Hey guys,
This is the start of week 5 alcohol fee for me. Had a great weekend Alcohol free!
What is making this stick this time? Mindset. My mindset is proper this time. I know alcohol is not doing anything any good for me, so why drink it?
I realize that my ability to think deeply and longer is greatly improved by not drinking. Drinking seemed to completely mess up my thinking. Did any of you find your ability to think improved when you stopped alcohol?
Any feedback would be appreciated.
Thanks
Gus
Hey grapeseed
work stress was a big trigger for me as well. I had maybe the worst drinking experience of my life due to work stress. In hindsight, rather than helping the situation, my drinking made it WAY worse. I now know that if I have major stresses, I need to run away from alcohol as quickly and as far as possible. That’s the very last thing I need to do when stressed.
Hope you have a good week and I hope things get better for you at work.
Gus
grapeseed @ Mar 22, 2021 8:29:27 PM
Hi everyone
I am doing ok. I am still not drinking. I am very proud of that. I am struggling because I am really hating my job right now. I am not sure if the alcohol was masking it or what. I took a few sick days when I was struggling with alcohol months ago and a few people seem to still be pissed about it. I dont think they realize how hard this addiction has been for me and how far I have come. I guess I have to put my head down and continue to do the good job I always do. I dont like feeling like an outsider sometimes.
Other than that things are good. I still feel envious too John. Especially now, when I could really use a beer to take the edge off. Like you said Lynn alcohol doesn't help with stress though. You are so right! I really need to remember that.
Well, the weather is nice out tonight. I am going for a walk with my girlfriend. I hope everyone is doing good.
Hey John,
How was your weekend? And how is the week going for you? Hope your having a good week!
Gus
I had a good week John, thanks for asking.
Cravings are OK. There’s nothing wrong with a craving. I found in the past when I “worried” about cravings, and then one came, I found it difficult. Now that I recognize them, i say to myself “it’s ok, it’s gonna pass” it’s alot easier. I know they are gonna pass, and more importantly, I know nothing bad is gonna happen. It’s just a feeling. I also have feelings of hunger and thirst and tiredness, etc. Nothing bad happens with those either. I just try and chill out and let it ride itself out. It always passes.
I can’t afford to forget about what drinking has done to me in the past. I have to remain vigilant. And I have to remind myself of how bad it can get for me.
i love the stability in our lives when I don’t drink. Everything is so must more peaceful. And I try and gravitate toward people around me who don’t drink as well. They all lead great lives without alcohol.
Have a great week John!
Talk later
Gus
Johnontheslopes @ Mar 29, 2021 8:57:33 PM
Gus, thanks for asking! I’m doing ok. I’ve had some cravings this week, or thoughts about drinking again but I’m happy to say that I didn’t take that first drink and the cravings did pass. How have you been this week? I heard something very interesting this week. Don’t be afraid of cravings, my sponsor said, it’s a good reminder that you need to remain vigilant. The moment you forget is the very moment it can sneak up on you.” Ive never thought of it like that before but it’s helpful I think. What do you think? Last time I quit, I would panic when I thought of it, but now I’ve learned to really be honest with myself, identify the feeling and let it pass. How do you manage drinking thinking? My wife will use that on me now and then as a joke. Thinking drinking? Think again. I would be angry about that last year but I find it a little funny now, maybe because she’s way more fun and not angry when im sober. I’m really liking the stability of my life these days. Hope you are too!
Lynn, I hear you on change. It has been a big obstacle for me, to think of myself as a guy who just doesn’t drink. I’m starting to like myself as a non drinker though. A few dads in my neighborhood don’t drink at all because of their religious beliefs and I’m happy to have met them. I spend more time around them now and I can see that they have a very full life without drinking. I don’t have to be fake around them or lie to keep them happy. This is such a positive change for me. I hope you find the answers you’re looking for.
John
grapeseed @ Apr 24, 2021 7:38:53 PM
Hi gus
Congratulations on going so long without drinking. That is awesome. My lap top was broken and then I had a few slips. I look up to you! I know what caused the slips. Work stress and my gf wanted to drink a few nights. She doesn't have a problem with drinking so she should be able to have a few drinks. I cannot. I have to learn that and I think in a way she needs to accept I can't just have a few with her.. at least not for now. But I am back on the wagon. How are you doing?
I am doing good Grapeseed. Thanks for asking. Had a great weekend with my family. I have peace and tranquility when I dont drink. And so do those around me.
I could write a book on slips. Slips can be bad. But you can switch them into something good, if you learn something from that slip. If you really pay attention, you can learn from a slip.
For example, if you know that work stress causes a slip, maybe the next time you anticipate work stress, you tell yourself "I know I'm gonna feel like a drink when work stresses me out today." Then at least you have a way of preparing yourself to be able to deal with the work stress with a more effective way than a drink. Maybe a long walk, or a workout, or a bike ride, or a good movie can replace the drinking time?
As for ".....she can have a few drinks. I cannot...." My experience has been its easier to stop all together than to try and moderate. That may sound counterintuitive to some people. But for me, stopping 100% was always easier. Moderating was a difficult road.
Have a great week!
Gus
foxman @ Apr 25, 2021 8:57:11 AM
grapeseed @ Apr 24, 2021 7:38:53 PM
Hi gus
Congratulations on going so long without drinking. That is awesome. My lap top was broken and then I had a few slips. I look up to you! I know what caused the slips. Work stress and my gf wanted to drink a few nights. She doesn't have a problem with drinking so she should be able to have a few drinks. I cannot. I have to learn that and I think in a way she needs to accept I can't just have a few with her.. at least not for now. But I am back on the wagon. How are you doing?
Thats the baffling nature of this condition. We know that we cant handle one or two drinks but when someone offers a drink, we cant say no! Thats powerlessness over alcohol. At that moment, the mind goes blank!
Hi Foxman,
II can only speak for myself. I can't handle 1 or 2. If I say yes to 1, its off to the races. It never stops at 1 or 2. Stopping all together is easier. At least thats how it is for me. Its baffling for sure, but it is what it is.
