Hey Partygrrl... welcome back to the AHC. Have you had a chance to read through some of the more recent postings and blogs. Can't tell you how many of us identify with being "too smart" to be doing what we are doing to ourselves. I dare say you most likely aren't doing anything more embarrassing or more shaming than what a lot of us have (bravely) posted here about our struggle. You are not alone in this and I do encourage you to keep coming back, use your toolbox, work through the exercises and post/blog daily if you can...