2 day's no alcohol. Felt very restless yesterday and I did'nt sleep well at all. I try to keep my mind ocupied but my thoughts keep drifting back to a nice cold beer ! It's hard to not being able to discuss this with anyone because no one knows exactly how bad my drinking has become. I've been very good at keeping that a secret . Everyone knows that I drink alot at outings but no one knows that I drink every day at home Alone. I hide all empty cans/bottles and I go to different liqour stores so that the clerks dont get to know me as a REGULAR.
Well today is another new day... I'm not feeling as motivated as I was yesterday but my fingers are still crossed...
It sounds like you have a lot of motivation to quit. Please use the program and support group to educate yourself and prepare. How will this time be different? How are you going to keep yourself motivated?
The consequences don't keep the alcoholics away from that insidious urge to take that first drink, here is from the book called AA:
Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.
The book goes on to say that people having reached that stage, need a spiritual solution.
I've been here before. Was determined that this was it... no more drinking , the beginning of an alcohol free healthy life style.I lasted 12 days then the Holiday parties started. The first party ,after being sober for 12 days , I was sociable...the second party ,not so much so .As for the third I dont even remember ! I've been drinking almost every day since. Sometimes just a few ,other times a case of beer or a couple bottles of wine.It seems to be getting worst as I grow older...
I have been on medications for anxiety and depresion for a long time now...was even hospitalized for a few weeks. I've had 2 D.U.I's and countless fender benders. You would think that ,that alone would be enough to stop me.
I'm gonna try again... no drink at all yesterday and today is a new day... keeping my fingers crossed...
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