Welcome Needhelp! It sounds like you have had so much to deal with over the years and my heart goes out to you. Alcohol has been your "security blanket" to get you through the sad times. It also sounds like you are ready to make a change and that you have been successful for short times twice already. In my experience, alcohol actually contributed to my anxiety and once I stopped drinking, many things improved. Would seeing a doctor regarding your panic attacks be a good idea? What worked for me was the support of this forum, counselling to deal with why I was drinking, meditation, exercise and lots of other tools. Others here have found help through AA, rehab., other online support. You already know that you can stop drinking as you have done it. Now you may need more tools and supports in place to stay stopped if that is your goal. What worked and didn't work in your past attempts? It is possible to quit drinking, and it is a much better life although we tell ourselves we can't live without it. There are lots of stories on this forum and support here as well. Keep posting to tell us how you are doing. Sending a big hug!
