I think everyone here can understand your frustration. Addiction to alcohol can be very tricky. It will try to convince you that drinking is a good idea, even though you know it is not. Those nagging thoughts and feelings are probably one of the hardest parts of quitting. The good news is it will get easier. It will take time and effort to create other patterns. The more research and preparation you can put into it the better.
How are you trying to replace alcohol now? What is motivating you to quit now?
In AA, they term this the "peculiar mental twist" that precedes the first drink. After a spree, we make a decision not to drink or atleast drink only during the weekends. But then our emotions run wild and mid-week, the mind tricks us into taking that 1 drink and then we have something happen within. We want more. There are various reasons modern day science gives us. But the common thing among certain people is that, they can't control the AMOUNT we drink after we take that first one. But the main problem is, we still take that first one. We have no defense.
My shrink suggested i attend AA meetings that was 11 years ago. I walked into the rooms on Sept 27th 2006. Applying the principles of the 12 steps, I have not had an urge yet.
It's a strange feeling being addicted to something. My thoughts are constantly drifting towards a reason why I should have, or rather deserve to have, another drink. "It's Friday","Ok I made it 1 day sober and I've read online not to quit cold turkey so Ishould have 'just one' today","I deserve it I work hard" all thoughts that far too often go through my head. Some days with little resistance on my part. Sure maybe It doesn't sound Like Having One Drink Is Such A Bad Thing.. . Except 1 Turns Into 10. And Before I Know It I'm Passing Out On My Chair Too Lazy To Enjoy Life. Now Years Later I Feel Like It Is Ruining My Body. I've Hinted At Having Issues To My Doctor, But Fear If Something Bad Ever Happens I Won't Get A Liver OR Something Because I Admitted I Have A Problem With Alcholo So I Omit That Detail And Hope For A Proper Diagnosis.
Well if you've had similar thoughts for as long as I have then tell me.. why I can't seem to shake the need to drink?I've never spoken to anyone about how much I drink and I hope talking about it here might help.
For those of you struggling, like I am, I wish you all the best of luck achieving your own goals. If you have any advice on how to ignore the persistant inner nagging I would love to hear about it. And im greatful for any advice.
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