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8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Thats so wonderful. Eckhart talks about that in the chapter "Beyond happiness and un-happiness there is peace". He states:

""""There have been many people for whom limitation, failure, loss, illness, or pain in whatever form turned out to be their greatest teacher. It taught them to let go of false self-images and superficial ego-dictated goals and desires. It gave them depth, humility, and compassion. It made them more real.
Whenever anything negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it, although you may not see it at the time. Even a brief illness or an accident can show you what is real and unreal in your life, what ultimately matters and what doesn't.

Seen from a higher perspective, conditions are always positive. To be more precise: they are neither positive nor negative. They are as they are. """""

For me, the realization came back in August of 2006 and that "I can't go on like this" thought, led me to a group therapy and then to a shrink who then led me to AA. Around 2009 a friend of mine got hooked me to ETs work. Incredible piece of work. It takes you beyond your mind.

Like you said, we just have to remember to go back these teachings. Thats the key.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

Yes, Foxman, the other book I have is A New Earth, or something like that.

I did it again yesterday. I was put in a situation that would bring me a lot of stress, anxiety and sadness, but I used that same technique and internally removed myself from it. Previously, these things would make me obsess about drinking in the past, but I just.... didn't obsess at all. I didn't get wrapped up in the negativity, I kept going, and I felt... GOOD.

Amazing.

When the day was over and I was out of the stressful situation, I was just fine! I can't put into words how powerful this is for me. Foxman, you have steered me to a serious breakthrough. This was my biggest drinking trigger... the anxiety from inner chatter... the MADNESS. I can't thank you enough. Now I just need to remember to use it.

Imagine if I had left the forum when I got upset with you... I never would have learned this new thing. Through pain comes reward.

Thank you for sticking with me, Foxman. I'm sending you a virtual high five!

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Just wanted to share an experience a in-mate shared at the work-camp last week. He said at the midst of all the nice (other inmates around and other background noise) he was able to quieten the voice in the head and was able to listen to the humming of the air-conditioner, exactly like Eckhart talks about. I said, WOW, you got the essence of meditation.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Thats such a wonderful experience you shared. You became the observer. A new dimension has set in. No judgement, no negativity, just the isness of the moment, like Eckhart talks about.

You are not the mind, Consciousness Way out of Pain, and the first few chapters I listen to over and over again. Its so meditative.

I guess the other book you have is A new Earth? Such a great addition also. What I found was, people could identify with his teaching quick because of some nice stories/experience. The voice in the head, Is that so, Carrying the Past are some of the segments you can read and quickly grasp the essence of his teachers.

Thank you for posting your experience and please sure more.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

Hi Foxman,

I actually own two of Tolle's books, and one is The Power of Now. So I read the chapter you suggested today and I found it very enlightening.

I stopped and looked around me (I was in a theater for my daughter's play rehearsal with 55 elementary aged children running about) and practiced detaching from all that was going on around me. It was profound. Just the time I took say to myself, "I have no control over this situation, I'm not in charge. I'm here, I've chosen to be here and I have to just accept that it is what it is...." changed how I felt. I was able to be in a better place emotionally by practicing the steps outlined in the book.

Thanks for the suggestion! I actually spent some more time reading the book from the beginning. I think there are lots of good ideas in The Power of Now that can help me with stressful situations. I appreciate your guidance, Foxman!

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

I realize that the only time I want to drink is when I'm going through something difficult, or I want to "let loose a bit."

Right on. I am not sure if you read the big book, even though they wrote it about 80 years ago, the human psyche hasn't changed much. It repeats over and over again. It talks about "at times" we bring into consciousness the suffering and humiliation even a week or month ago. What it means is, again I have to emphasize this is true only for certain folks, we may be successful several times but suddenly some of us succumb to that desire and end up drinking way over what we desired.

Yesterday at the big book meeting one scientist picked up a white chip (we call it the desired chip) has been coming to meetings over a year but never worked the steps. Wednesday he picked up a 30 day chip but Thursday at work, he couldn't handle the stress at work, he screamed at his peers and busted out and get drunk all in flash of few minutes. Thats the peculiar mental blind spot we talk about over and over again.

What I had to do to be restored to sanity around alcohol, is, I had to realize I can't go on like this. And then to handle my emotional upheavals I have to constantly watch for my character defects. Sometimes, just doing the same job at work will be much more rewarding than aiming for too much and getting frustrated when not being able to achieve that. Eckhart Tolle talks about the power behind Surrender. If you get a chance get hold of Power of Now and read the chapter "Meaning of Surrender" thats what we do in AA.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

Thank you, Julie for your comment.

Foxman, I don't want you stop commenting on my thread. I'm sorry.... I was having a hard time and was emotional. I guess I got sensitive with your comment and it hurt me. Then I got mad at you because I felt hurt...

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my drinking in the last week. I realize that the only time I want to drink is when I'm going through something difficult, or I want to "let loose a bit." The first reason is terrible and the second reason isn't much better. I want to deal better with my negative emotions and not drink when I'm going through them.

So today I was so frustrated, tired, and just wanted to kick back with some wine... but I didn't. I decided instead to get some weird carrot/apple juice, take a hot shower, lock my daughter out for a little while, and put my PJ's on at 6pm.

Now it's 8pm and my cravings are all gone. I'm just tired and feeling good. Thank you for your comments, Foxman, they shook me up. I think I needed it.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Flipflopmom,

In my experience, once I thought I had a problem with my drinking, I did. I could go for a while without drinking but then I would overindulge or I would obsess about my drinking. It seemed to consume my thoughts whether I was drinking or not and I was so tired of that. I too quit for a while and so wanted to be able to moderate, to just drink one glass of wine. It worked for a while but then it didn't. Normal drinkers, like my husband - I realized, don't think about drinking and they don't want "more" once they have had enough.

For me, it was easier to quit drinking completely than to try to moderate. It was the best decision for me. They say it takes 90 days to reset your brain from alcohol reliance. I joined a 100 day challenge at "Tired of Thinking About Drinking" website and that really helped me set a goal and get more support.

I hope that you find your way through this. It sounds like you have done it before so you can do it again. Alcohol doesn't really make anything better. Life is better without it. Sending you a hug and support!

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

Thank you for your response, Foxman. It's nice to read that you were well intended.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

I am not sure what to say. I was just sharing my experience and knowledge about the blind mental spot with all good intention. I was using your experience to illustrate that. When my counselor challenged me to stay of liquor for 30 days, I did, but I drank on the 31st day for some silly excuse without looking at the consequences.

If abstinence is your goal, go back and look at what sort of resistance if at all you offered when your friend offered you the wine. A member at the AA meeting shared that she went out after 7 years, when her friend told her she can drink alcohol and she was blind sighted, just took it almost like your situation. Thats why I have to stay alert 24/7. You see alcohol was just a symptom, I have to tackle my internal-unmanageability every day.

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