ruminations, as seems to be customary here...
I remember waking up in the morning feeling like I didn�t brush my teeth the night before because of all the cigarette residue in my mouth, throat, lungs. I�d brush my teeth first thing � it helped me breath � I�d gag and cough up some delicious phlegm � hack and gag � brown chunks in a slimy gooey film that stuck to itself like a single unit of hell's slime. Then I�d go smoke a couple quick smokes just to get the day going. Car rides were measured in cigarettes � 2 for the 18 minute drive to work. The day was divided � hourly at work � when I got home, it wasn�t uncommon to drink 6 or more beers while chainsmoking � I used to call it winding down. Going on a roadtrip where I wasn�t driving and a nonsmoker was � was to be avoided. Otherwise, the whole car ride was a head game � I�d get angry at the person for not letting me smoke � I�d smoke every stop we made, usually 2 cigarettes back to back just to make sure I survived the next leg of the trip. I�d make sure to drink a lot of water and/or coffee so the stops would increase in frequency. Like clockwork, I smoked. Consuming thoughts of when will I smoke next and then when after that� addiction is not pretty. I�ve ruined relationships with people I loved to addiction. Now I�m ruining my relationship with my addiction out of love.
keep on keepin' on - fish
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/21/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 62
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,888
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $310
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 19 [B]Seconds:[/B] 14
