Unhooked!!! You go girl!!! Thank you so much. You found the words I couldn't. Pam and I have had this discussion a hundred times. I never thought of the dangerous thing. I've learned a lot about co-dependency in the last year but never thought of it as far as smoking goes. BFS Perhaps you "need" to be the non-smoker in this group. The saviour? "Look at me, I don't NEED to smoke like the rest of you" (said to your friends). WOW! What insight. Thanks for your post Unhooked!!! Pam, please read it. You know I wouldn't ever say anything to hurt you but I think you need to spend some time on this one. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 775 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 15,500 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,712.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 69 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 51 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35

I miss the familiarity of smoking. I miss being comfortable with my daily routine. Now, I need to relearn living my life as a non smoker. It gets hard but it is well worth it in the long run. I need to remind myself why I want this quit. My reasons need to be and should be all that are really important. I take it one day at a time and then wake up and start a new day. ?Lolo [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]4/24/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 113 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,260 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $508.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 13 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5

BFS, of course you do what you want to do. But I have to say, I remember your "non-smokers are boring" thread & I thought at the time, "wow, that junkie just never does give up looking for a way in after she's been bounced out on her ash. She has no pride at all & she is no lady." I also thought, "good thing our BFS knows a junkie thought when she hears one & she will recognize this "non-smokers are boring" crap for the crap it is." Imagine my surprise when you left us for not only a bf, but a smoking bf! ( I have a gift for reading between the lines). BFS, the only thing I know to say & I say it with the utmost respect & appreciation, is "you're busted." You hooked up with the smoker at least partly because he smokes. Come on, it isn't that non-smokers are boring, it's that smokers are dangerous, they're tempting & temptation is sexy. Plus, you get to show how strong you are. You get to prove that you can beat something that he can't. Problem is you have to prove it & the only way to prove it is to give in to it. THAT'S how you found yourself grabbing a drag off his smoke & THAT'S where you were going the whole time. I hate to be the one, I really do, but you so let the junkie drive this one, hun. No? Tell us about this guy, Pam, tell us what makes him special & why you picked him. What makes him deserve you, what does he offer other than not being "boring"? & aside from being a smoker, what makes him so exciting? Again, I'm not you but I absolutely WILL NOT date a smoker. Partly because I can't abide the smell or taste, partly because I don't want to hang around wasting my extra life while he finds a place to smoke & then depletes his life, partly because I don't want to take care of someone in their old age who didn't have the sense to take care of himself. But MOSTLY BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO START AGAIN. And I know I would, 1 puff at a time. Sorry, BFS, if you take exception but only because I never want to hurt feelings, not because anything I said was wrong. xo [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]5/13/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 94 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,880 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1,034.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 16 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10

BFS, you're an inspiration to me. I was a little concerned with your previous post that you were giving up or at least entertaining the idea. Your last post to Phil clarified and somewhat calmed my concerns. I think I understand your challenge. What does your smoking BF think about you, an ex-smoker? Is he careful not to tempt your addict back into the driver's seat? [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/15/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 153 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,060 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $642.60 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 24 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 13 [B]Seconds:[/B] 28

BF thanks for your thoughts Dating a smoker? I cant get within two yards of them!!! Anyway Jen wouldnt like it if I did! me xxxx [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 372 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,184 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �1,953.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 72 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 30 [B]Seconds:[/B] 48

Phil, I'm surethat you will have a wonderful vacation and will absolutely LOVE your smoke-free trip. Even after 2 years, there are some things that are still very difficult for me to deal with. 99% of the time, I don't crave and don't even think about smoking in any context whatsoever. However, there are the few situations where, even now, are extremely difficult to deal with. Until about December of last year, drinking was one of them that was so hard that I dreaded having to do because I was absolutely MISERABLE doing it without smoking! I eventually got over that one and every so often, I still have problems with that one, but it's rare. The one that gives me the hardest time now is dating a smoker. It's not one situation that is hard, but rather just the concept of dating a smoker. When I smoked, I felt a bond to other smokers. It was like we all had this weird connection because we understood each other, whereas the rest of the world didn't. When I'm dating somebody, I want that connection (and as I stated in another post a few weeks ago, never-smokers are boring to me). So I guess that's why the junkie in me comes so alive whenever I'm dating a smoker. I want that connection that I know I will never have with anybody ever again... because I'm not an active addict anymore. But most of the time, smoking doesn't ever cross my mind. I like that feeling and I worked hard to get here... VERY HARD! And I'm not willing to give that up for anybody or anything. But at the same time, it'd be nice if I could just smoke "every once in a while." But we all know that's impossible. Crave the Quit! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]6/17/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 788 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 19,700 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3,254.44 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 55 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 38

BFS, You were having a hard time thinking about posting this weren't you? As you can see the support received is outstanding and we all know where you are coming from. Learn from this and know we are always here for you and no-one is here to judge! You have been instrumental in your own and others quits. We are all human :) Josie, Support Specialist

This is not my first quit, it's probably #4. The first two went less than 90 days (NRT), the third went about a year (hypnosis) and this one is at 5+ months (cold turkey) and going strong and smokeless. Each of the first three quits ended with one puff. My junky sleeps with one eye open and one puff is all it takes to put it back in the driver's seat. This I've learned and I've not given it anything this quit, not one puff ever. Just one puff would set me back mentally and physically. I know what's back there and I don't want any part of it, I'm done with that. I am 150+ consecutive days smoke free, that's where I am. I had doubts when I started this quit that I would go long-term with it. I don't doubt it anymore. I'm done with smoking for good, NOPE. There's no doubt in my mind. A few months ago I thought as you do BFS, that I would go back to smoking and quit again in all likelihood. I got past that to where I am now. As far as meters, my meter is for me and yours is for you. I know what my numbers mean and what it took to get here. It helps me value my quit and like anything valuable, I'm hanging onto it. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/15/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 152 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,040 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $638.40 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 24 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 31 [B]Seconds:[/B] 11

What a discussion this has turned in to. Another of the great SSC threads! I posted to BFS just before I went to bed last night and I had a dream of smoking. I think I have only had 2 smoking dreams in the last 2 plus years. I guess I took the issue to bed with me. I posted about the dream in the thread called "The Addict Smokes". I wanted to comment here that no matter what decisions each of us make, the meter isn't the issue. We never know which puff will be the one that sets off the cancer in our bodies. Which puff will be the one that keeps up addicted for forever. Which puff will end the last quit we have in us. I don't think any of us want to take that puff that ends the quit for us. The quit is too important and at this stage, we have worked too hard for it to give it all up. That is the bottom line. People early in the struggle cannot understand what it is like at this stage of the quit. Not even you Phil. At one year, I felt exactly as you do now. Afraid of losing the quit and feeling like I could go back to smoking at any given time. You too will get to the point where smoking isn't something you "want" to do anymore. Your friends will be proud of you on your trip next week. Go and enjoy. Don't let us old people scare you :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 774 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 15,480 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,709.00 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 69 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 32 [B]Seconds:[/B] 33

o.k. I guess it's time for me to come clean - i aint slipped up but boy there have been times i have wanted it so bad. I'm still surprised at how this addiction can eat me up inside if i let it, but as you all know you just can't give it that opportunity. I think of smoking now & then usually only as i still smell a lot of smokers about, not because i want to think of it. It Does get better prople, it's just that we don't realise it sometimes, untill it's to late. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B]1/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 955 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 33,425 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $6,207.50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 136 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 46 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30