Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:


Dealing with depression and anxiety and starting to feel lonely.

Ashley -> Health Educator

2021-06-11 4:17 PM

Depression Community


hi :)

Ashley -> Health Educator

2021-06-11 4:06 PM

Depression Community


Friends who drink


2021-06-10 5:00 AM

Managing Drinking Community


Covid vaccine


2021-06-06 3:03 PM

Quit Smoking Community

Browse through 411352 posts in 46954 threads.

139,386 Members

Please welcome our newest members: Gel1980, cermaqemployee, Allons-y, Jell, Mme L

CBT for me.

8 years ago 0 Davit 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
If I'm not mistaken you might have to go to the sister site "depression" for core beliefs.

I can explain it for you but right now we have a virus or something that keeps shutting down our computer internet connection. We may be gone a while till it is fixed.

Fantastic Meghanb!

It sounds like you are already making a lot of progress. I'm looking forward to witnessing how well you do once you have a little bit more of the program under your belt!
Ashley, Health Educator
8 years ago 0 Meghan 23 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hugs- Thanks. You may be right, and I may be better off than I'm thinking. Especially the way I was thinking yesterday after a very bad day. But I am still struggling on a daily basis, so I am happy to have found some support. :)

Ashley- I feel okay today. I had some negative thoughts as my husband left for work, and almost did panic again, but I'm trying to think of it in a more positive way. For example, I will tell myself that him going to work and me dealing with the anxiety on my own is a great learning experience. 

Davit- Thank you for your response as well. I sincerely appreciate it. I am practicing each day, but it's nice to have a reminder that it takes time and practice to change the way I think. I also like the way you mentioned how triggers can cause positive thought or negative...and how you should have a choice leaning towards the positive. It makes my goal seem a little more clear if that makes sense. I completely understand that CBT is a process and I have to put the work in --and I'm okay with that. I just wish that my therapist would not have put a time stamp on how long it would take, because that's when my progress started to decline.
8 years ago 0 hugs4U 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Meghanb,
Welcome.  I'd be curious to know how you know the difference between uneasiness and impatience.  I'll bet you're better off than you think, and polite.  We all struggle with knowing that difference...
No need to apologize at all. I'm glad that the fantastic members here are starting to respond.
How are you feeling today?
Ashley, Health Educator
8 years ago 0 Davit 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Meghanb


The site does go up and down depending on how people are doing and how busy they are. And busy definitely helps with anxiety so don't worry if there isn't much activity here some times. People are still monitoring. 
Right now Sunny and I are busy redoing cupboards but we still have time to support you and answer questions. Patience though because we may be in a different time zone.

CBT works but it is a process not a thing. Therefore it has to be on going till it becomes subconscious in which case it will still be ongoing just not noticeable. Anxiety and panic happen when negative things in memory move to the fore front instead of staying just in the experience part of memory. But they can't do this on their own even though it may seem so. You have to do it. Something will trigger it but for it to happen you have to do it. A trigger can cause positive thought or negative depending on your personality and attitude and how it is attached to your core beliefs. Core beliefs can sit dormant for years until something reinforces them enough to make them active. Usually some trauma but it can just be a change in life, even a happy one like a marriage or an achievement. Does this sound silly. This happens most if you have a core belief that says you are not worthy. It stays dormant till you do something that says you are and then it tells you that you aren't. This one negative thought can start a domino effect opening other core beliefs and something that should be a happy event can have a black cloud hanging over it. And the worst part is that it may not even be noticeable, just the effects. On top of that core beliefs are very strong and like the name says believable. Especially if you have an unusual amount of negative thought. Negative thought is not bad, it is a survival skill that keeps us out of trouble. But like any tool it has it's place. Being happy happy and inattentive in traffic could be dangerous. A little negative thought here could keep you from getting in an accident. CBT is about changing unwanted negative thought to positive. Which doesn't mean you shouldn't have negative thoughts, it means you should have a choice. You should have both so that you can use one to counter the other with the scale leaning toward the positive. If you do not have one or more positive thought for every negative then you will most likely have normal anxiety and panic turn into an attack. 
So CBT gives you the skills but it is a process not a thing, it on itself can not do anything for you, you have to do it with the information it supplies. And you have to do it over and over till it becomes subconscious and the balance becomes heavy toward the positive. There will always be some negative, especially if you have negative core beliefs but they will have no control if you have lots of positives to counter them. It takes time and the interesting thing is that when the process starts to work you don't really notice the change, it just is there. At this point it starts to speed up. It is like a bell curve. At first it seems like you are going nowhere and then it accelerates till it becomes subconscious and then it slows down as you start to function again. At this point how much better you get depends on how much you need to.

8 years ago 0 Meghan 23 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks Ashley- Sorry...I did not mean to sound impatient or anything. I was just having a really bad day. 

lovestrees- Thank you for the response. Now that you mention it I don't think my therapist ever went over core beliefs. I know that we did core fears, but even that was just one session. I think I just felt down, because the program was over, and I felt like much more work was needed to be done to overcome this. When I said that to her she wanted to start a few sessions working on self esteem, and that may have worked with core beliefs, but I said I wanted to redo the program from the start, because I thought maybe I missed some things or some things did not fully process. I have learned that maybe my mindset was not right the first time with CBT. I was just focussing on ending the panic so much that I don't think I dealt with the underlying problems. It was just "ok, i feel panic...let me distract my mind, and not deal with it"....Of course distraction is a wonderful tool, but for me it became a crutch I guess. Of course I would love to hear any of your experiences. Thanks for offering.

Are there any specific parts in the program that deal with core beliefs that I can read? I finished part 1 last night and printed out the pages so I'm ready to start homework.
Hi Meghanb,

I already replied in another thread you created so I don't have too much to add here.
Sometimes it take a little while for the members to respond but normally all threads get a responded too.
I'm sorry to hear about how you have been feeling. You are not alone. You can always post here when your husband is away at work. You can also challenge your anxious thinking with session three. Specifically page 3 offers 10 question you can use to challenge the negative thoughts. Let us know how today goes!
We are just a few key strokes away.

Ashley, Health Educator
8 years ago 0 loves trees 356 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Meghanb,

Your posts make a lot of sense to me. I did CBT for the first time a few years ago. I am not surprised that in 18 weeks, your panic was reduced but overall not all elements of your anxiety were addressed. When I read your posts, I immediately thought about what Davit (a member here) has shared about core beliefs and their role in anxiety and curing anxiety and panic. 18 weeks might not have been enough time for your therapist to help you with your core beliefs. There are likely lots of past posts talking about core beliefs or you can ask if you want more info about that. It was one of the many keys I needed to progress in my healing.

I can say that I know you can feel much much better than you do right now and it is definitely not too late to help yourself re: negative thinking. I went from not even knowing what negative thinking was and that I was one, to now having real optimism and a much healthier perspective. I am also less dependent on other people to feel happy, at peace and content. It is all possible. I truly believe that and would not post that to anyone if I did not 100% believe it to be true. I can post more about my experience if you want. If it will help. You are not alone in what you are going through and your desire to feel better. 

You did not fail. You took a big step in the right direction. That is a successful thing in my view. 
8 years ago 0 Meghan 23 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi again. Im not sure if this site is very active anymore, but im patiently awaiting any response.  I feel like my emotions are all over the place right now. I was happy to find this site with so much great information, but I had a pretty anxious day and now tonight Im feeling depressed. Also I am extremely dependent on my husband and i would like to change that. I feel like I'm going to lose it every day when he leaves for work. I'm working on a way to challenge this...such as counting the good days i have when hes at work or asking myself whats the worst that can happen. Its just very hard because Im 29 and have been a pretty negative thinker my whole life.

Reading this thread: