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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 217

Wow,

I'm fairly new here (maybe like 3 weeks), I've found this site quite helpful in terms of helping me get out of this depression.

The best part so far really has been all the posts I've read. I just have to say this whole discussion has inspired me so tremendously! I'm starting to really understand how much my depression has affected those around me, I always only really thought of how it was affecting me. But man, I must be so unpleasant to be around, live with, share time with! The past few years of my life have involved work, sleep, and being unattached from the world. The worst part is that wrapped up in all of this is my beautiful, loving wife. I've recently admitted to her what I'm going through and she has been very supportive and has stuck by me through it all. Reading this whole thread has inspired me to do something for her. She has been my angel and my rock.

Any ideas on how I can plan a special day for her and show her my appreciation for being there for me?

Strength

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

DJ,

Awesome date. I inquired about it in the wrong post. So glad that you had fun and stuff. I bet your daughters are as beautiful as your wife. You have so much to be grateful for! So when's the next date??????

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11216

Wow DJ that is amazing!

Did you two talk about her goals or discuss anything interesting?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 82

Date night was great ,I took her to a place she realy enjoys had a great supper ,we talked and laughed we had a great time .Later we went home watched a movie together and well the reast I'll leave out! And Goofy my girls are 21 and 16 and just as beautiful as their mother!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11216

Hi Sid,

Thanks for responding. I am hearing that you seem to be overwhelmed with this task and also a little discouraged. Is that right? I think it is really great that you are taking steps to address this. You also seemed that in the beginning you were very enthusiastic about your ideas and that is really great! Any time there are changes in our lives, there can also be resistance. So I would like to ask you a few more questions and examine a few things. All members are free to answer these questions if they apply to you.

You say that fear is stopping you. What exactly are you afraid of?

You also were very enthusiastic at one point about planning activities. What was it that you were enthusiastic about? How did it feel to have plans and be excited about them?

I hear you say you want your life to be better. What would your life look life if it was better? What would you be doing? How would you feel?

These are a lot of important questions so take your time with them. Also, only reply if you feel comfortable doing so.

Thinking of you today.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Sid, I understand where you are coming from with your alone time. I think it's different being alone alot and finding constructive things to do when we are alone. Constructive things like meditate, hobby, personal responsibilities, and many other activities I'm sure. But being alone and just sitting or laying in bed is where there is a problem and the avoidance you talk about. It's also a problem for me because once I "don't" have anything planned....I seem to lose focus on staying busy and just end up on this computer (not just here) or in the bed. I think I need the structure of having goals to meet everyday/things to accomplish every week.

I try to break my list down into days, but if I can't get everything done or if something else comes up, then I still have time before I start it let getting me down that I didn't do all the things on the list. I do have my time set aside everyday for this program, checking e-mail, listening to music and meditating. I don't skip those. But the other things I need to be doing or enjoy doing - I've got on a list. I also have problems with my memory and this helps me.

Okay, I'm rambling, don't know if I made much sense, but I hope I helped some.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 199

I started out trying to plan a camping trip for the holidays with my partner but we just seemed to argue about the details, so I decided to forget about the camping trip and try to do something else maybe go to octoberfest on the weekend. I was very excited about going and suggested that he go show his engines in a tractor & engine show and that maybe we just needed some alone time away from each other being he really didn't seem excited about octoberfest, or camping or what ever. I was really feeling upbeat about it this morning. I love the fall weather. Any way I thought maybe I'd go with him to the engine show instead if he wanted me to. After all this hassle I seem to have lost me enthusiasm to do any of it. I started to feel my self slipping into a depression. So I guess it is me and my fears stopping me from enjoying my life alone or with someone. The anxiey is getting me now and I am afraid to go alone. I really struggle to leave the house at all these days. I am Sorry for rambleing on while I try to figure this out. I real feel life has got to be better than this. Thanks for listening Sid

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

I hear you talk about your wife and as a single woman, I think WOW! How awesome it must be to be loved like that! I hope she knows what an awesome "find" she has. I do agree with Ashley, you should share what you wrote with her.

I can't wait to hear about, uh hum, parts of your date that are tellable. Hope you have a great time!

I'm nosey, how old are your kids? If you don't mind my asking?

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11216

Great!

You will have to tell us how date night goes. Enjoy yourself and your beautiful wife!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 82

Thank you Ashley

I havent had a date with my wife for years,we go out togeather but i wouldent call it a date I like that idea im going to ask her out tonight maybe even pick up a card for her,Your smart I like your Idea!Iv never thought of asking her what her goal are either, I'll do that. And to know I have her for life is a wonderful thing I look forword to growing old with her and having Grandchildren,We realy only have each other and our kids ,we dont see her family ,but thats a whole nother storie,My family well they dont seem to care about anyone but them selves. She realy is a amazing woman ,Funny I don't feel depressed at all when I think of her.You have given me some realy good ideas Ashley thank you so much! A GREAT BIG BEAR HUG TO YOU!

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