Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:

logo

Social anxiety disorder

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-05-29 1:50 PM

Anxiety Community

logo

Addiction

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-05-20 2:48 PM

Managing Drinking Community

logo

Challenging Worry - Worry Time

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-05-14 3:33 PM

Depression Community

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Browse through 411.756 posts in 47.057 threads.

160,719 Members

Please welcome our newest members: Ktktindy1, Julesy, grames, rainyjade, AJ8142

Took a Hard Fall


12 years ago 0 542 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks Ashley and everyone, that made me feel better, I guess we are all in this together and try to help each other when we can. I am so grateful for you're support.
12 years ago 0 11219 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks so much Red!
 
That's what we are here for 

I appreciate your posts as well. It's so inspiring to see how much you have achieved.

Ashley, Health Educator
12 years ago 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Ashley,
 
Thank you for the direction. I really appreciate your advice and feedback ..Your presence is very comforting to me..
 
Red..
 
 
12 years ago 0 11219 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi everyone,
 
I wanted everyone here to know that according shift reports no post was deleted from this thread; so I am assuming a technical hiccup occurred. I also want to state that occasionally we will edit or delete posts in order to maintain a positive, non judgemental atmosphere; however, we will not be deleting any posts from this thread today. The reality is conflicts are normal and sometimes healthy. It is okay to have different opinions. It is also common to have misunderstandings in written form it is even more likely. I think this thread is a great example of how little conflicts can occur and that is ok. I want to make a few points here:
  • Never apologize for openly and honestly discussing your experiences with anxiety here. We are all here to support each other. Debora, you haven't done anything wrong by writing your thoughts and feelings openly.  It takes courage to be honest so thank you.
  • Everyone is entitled to their own feelings and their own perceptions.  Your experiences are your own.
  • Take the perspective that works for you. If you feel your best years are behind you that is your choice. If you feel your best years are ahead of you that is your choice as well. Labelling anything as all good or all bad should be avoided. Try to find the positives.
  • What is clear to me is that we are all here to support each other and we all care.  Sometimes disagreements happen, this is normal in any relationship. Please don't let it take away from what we have built here. I think everyone has had a chance to get their thoughts out openly and honestly.  That's great.  How do we want to move forward from this?
  • One last point, if a post of yours is edited or deleted you will be emailed and notified. Also, remember that Health Educators are not online 24/7 so please do not expect immediate responses.  We normally always respond to feedbacks and emails within 24 hours.  
Please keep posting your open thoughts and feelings. We are all here for each other.


Ashley, Health Educator
12 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Just how do you know who is and isn't a therapist in an anonymous site. Besides it is an open forum, Ashley has mentioned over and over that the points of view here belong to the person posting and so have I. Over and over. Some people don't seem to get that through there head that it is information only and what they do with it is up to them. We are all different, some one might actually have a use for that information. Some one might actually find that they have similar symptoms and what someone else is doing helps. You will note I always say with your doctors input. I also say it is my personal experience or that it comes from my therapist. 

I know a professional therapist that has been on the depression site because I sent her there.
Her decision not to use the site is hers. I sent her but did not push her to stay when she decided it was not for her. She is bipolar and decided she needed more help. A lot of people pass through here, only a few stay. Some take what they need and go.

Davit.
12 years ago 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
There are posting guidelines and information on how to support other members on this site..If we start to think that we are therapists when we are not it can become a very dangerous thing for everyone here..People can get hurt..Maybe it would be a good idea if we left the therapy up to the trained therapists..This is something to be mindful of..
 
Red
12 years ago 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

I agree no one owns the forums and remember you do not own the forums either...
12 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I did not talk this over with sunny but I did mean stronger and healthier and more able to do the things that are so hard now. Mental is a different storey. That is learned process and getting older does not have to have an effect on it. You can get better or worse no matter what your physical condition. I would take back the years from my past with their excellence for the most part condition even with the anxiety and still consider them my best years. Of course they are not gone in my memory so I can still enjoy them. Now with out the mental disorder I can have very good years to come but they will never be what they would have been if I had of not had the anxiety disorder back then. 

I know people who have had to struggle all their life with disability and mental strain. It happens so those of us that didn't go through it should be happy. So I have to say again that if that is the storey of your life then why should it not make me sad. If not then the comment was not meant for you. And you will note that it was not aimed at anyone specific. It was an honest question either misinterpreted or done on purpose to make me feel bad. Sorry if that is the case. If any one can point out a case where I have been mean or vindictive I will gladly leave since it was never my intention. And I do not have to be here so if I am interfering with your improvement say so and I will leave. But remember you do not own the forums and it is up to the moderator to delete where they feel appropriate and I do respect their decision always. 
Deletion does not mean anyone was right it just means the post was inappropriate.

Davit.
12 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Debora

You did nothing wrong posting what you did. Actually I think although this post is going to be deleted because it has gone too far it actually is a shame because it is a good example of negative core beliefs and the strength they have. Do you see how they can take control of people and make them believe something is there that isn't and never was. Take your problem. You want to get rid of it for good reason but since it has happened before it is now coming up over and over because it has become a core belief. You know you worry to much about your health but can't stop because you have a core belief telling you too. They are very hard to break.
Some people never do. No matter how hard they try they keep going back to them and believing them. Medication can break the cycle but you have to take advantage of every positive moment to reinforce the positive thoughts. 
Think of a core belief as some one else than you telling you what to do and then ask yourself why you are listening to them since you know what is right. Then do it your way because you know your way is right. Listen to you not them (the core beliefs)

Core beliefs are not something you did wrong, they are a product of thinking the same way over and over again till it seems true. But core beliefs can be very helpful if you start to think different than they want you too. These are positive core beliefs and once you build one and use it the one you don't want stops influencing you. 

Yes you can stop being a hypochondriac by using CBT to build a positive core belief that neutralizes and buries the one you don't want. You can actually learn to not focus on your health to such an extreme by building a core belief that tells you not to. It is like having a friend remind you that you are worrying too much and spending too much time thinking about your health. Core beliefs can be very good friends or they can be bad ones. But it takes time to build good strong ones. Just like it takes time to build good friends. And you have to trust them. If your core belief is telling you something good letting a negative core belief convince you otherwise will ruin it. 
If you trust the program and if you believe the people here only want to help you when they tell you something you don't want to hear then you will get better. That is why I asked you if it bothered you if I say something you might take the wrong way. 

CBT is changing negative to positive. That simple. The hard part is deciding who to believe.
The people trying to support you and help you with examples of what works for them or a negative core belief that has been leading you astray for years. The tendency is going to be to go with the core belief because that is a routine you are familiar with. And if you do I won't fault you. Core beliefs are hard to break. But if you would like me to stay and support you and point out when I think you are going down the wrong path I will. You don't need me, every thing you need is in the program. I am cured as you can see by the fact that I do not let misunderstandings throw me into a negative tail spin. I've been insulted and accused and I don't let it bother me because I know mental disorders. I know where it comes from. I also know mental diseases. I have bipolar friends that have treated me very bad, but I understand it is just their manic phase. I have schizophrenic friends who I'm not sure which personality is going to be talking to me. I find it very interesting and for me a learning experience. I have never let them influence my attitude. Positive breeds positive, negative breeds negative. 
If you remember that and try as much as you can to think positive you eventually will and if you slip once in a while and don't mind your friends helping you out you will get back to the happy state you want.

Do not ever feel bad for anything you post here. I want to see a real Debora, not some one trying to be who they think I want to see or how am I supposed to support them.

That being said, I have to agree with My therapist. It doesn't mean I will listen to her.

Davit.
12 years ago 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Question???
Who deleted my posts and Why...I have sent you a email Ashley about this and would appreciate a response from you..
This is not right....If someone tells me I have had a sad live or I am sad when I am not and I have said I am happier and enjoying my life.more than I ever have, than I have a right to confront them on this..
I feel I have a right to state in this forum that I am happier now than I have ever been in my life without someone coming on and posting and saying if that is true and I am happier now than I have ever been in my life than they feel bad for me..I do not think anyone has a right to tell someone else how they feel or what they feel or that they have had a sad life..I am feeling better than I have ever felt in my life and I do not see anything sad about it..It is not sad for me...So why should someone feel sad for me when I am content and happy now..I am not sad!!!and I don't like it when someone tells me that I am..Only I know how I feel...
 
Red....
 
Red.....

Reading this thread: