Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:

logo

Challenging Worry

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-04-20 11:42 PM

Depression Community

logo

Hello

Linda Q

2024-04-11 5:06 AM

Anxiety Community

logo

Addiction

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-04-08 3:54 PM

Managing Drinking Community

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Browse through 411.749 posts in 47.054 threads.

160,526 Members

Please welcome our newest members: eggmegrolf, PearlCat19, mima, FrannyLou, AABBYGAIL RUTH

Is Retail Therapy legitimate?


12 years ago 0 424 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I do that too...jsut to get my mind off my stress or fears!!!
It does help me!
Bren
12 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Red,
That was helpful.  Knowing we can ebb and flow is good too.
 
Ashley,
I can tell I'm doing too much when I find I'm rushing. I don't need to rush.  Rushing doesn't help enjoy the moments, people around us, the senses...what's the point, I was asking myself today, if I rush and things are a blur?  But we live in this consumer society which pushes consumption, hyperactivity.  Today I was in a store where I was asked numerous times if I could be helped.  My negative interpretation was I was being bothered, and I think I need a break.
 
Now I can even let myself make typos on my posts, since it doesn't matter.
 
I've tried to notice, although I barely stop doing it, when I am starting something new without finishing something else.  I have a lot of things to do, in different stages of completion, with the sense of accomplishment.  This isn't helpful, since they're not really connected, as subtasks of a large, thoroughly planned project with seamless timelines.
 
I have limits with my scatterbrain!  I feel like a rubber ball responding to stresses, and not grounded.   I try to get grounded in the garden, as Davit suggests he does(I think) at the end of the day, so I can unwind and get to bed. 
 
The therapeutic thing about shopping isn't the luxury, since I don't treat myself.  I just buy need-to things like a shower wand since I can't use the bathtub, or a diary, since I nearly forgot some important appointments and the old diary is nearly completed(and stock runs out) or  food for casseroles or we're eating the same thing(okay for me, not for mom who has a strict diet the challenges of a senior) or topsoil for the garden since the garden is sandy or juice boxes for packing for mom in case she's thirsty(and now she has some friends we visit once a week).
 
So much to do so little time.  I wish I could turn this brain off, sometimes.
 
12 years ago 0 252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Hugs,
 
I am not my sure I have a answer to your question...It was very very hard to maintain focus and still is at times...One thing my partner and I did when we were getting near the end of it was stay in our cab over camper in the driveway and go back into the house during the day to see how things were progressing...This renovation took about 9 months to complete and we were without a kitchen for 6 months...I lost my mind on several occasions during this renovation..plus I was grieving and in ill health too...I think your idea of dueing one thing at a time is a very good one and I would stick to my guns on this if at all possible.
 
I know you are a caregiver for your mother and being a sole caregiver is very hard to say the least..
I was a sole caregiver to my husband for many years..He suffered with ptsd from the war and later dementia so I would not have been able to do this renovation while he was still alive. It took me 2 years to get well enough after his passing before I could even consider it..I am not sure what your mothers condition is but if it is not to bad the two of you might want to consider staying in a hotel if it getting to overwhelming and the house becomes unlivable while they are working on it. You will still need to go by the house during the day and check on things are progressing thought...
 
My heart goes out to you and your mother for I know what a difficult time this is for the both of you...
 
You will be in my heart and on my mind,
God bless you....
Red...
12 years ago 0 619 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Most of my rewards are free like going to the beach, riding a bicycle, practicing yoga and enjoying the moment.
 
If I have to pay something I try something simple and cheap, for example: to shop at the grocery store and prepare a nice meal for me and my wife.
12 years ago 0 11214 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi hugs and everyone,
 
This is an interesting topic.  It is always a great idea to reward yourself for goals achieved but keep in mind that often the best rewards are free. I know it's a cliche but it really is true.  Also, finding joy in simple things like shopping for the essentials is a great skill to have!
 
How can you tell when you are taking on too many things?  
 


Ashley, Health Educator
12 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Red,
How did you maintain your focus during the renovation?  I'm finding I can only do one thing at a time, and having launched more than one repair overwhelmed me, since those wrong things are a nuisance, and the condition magnifies everything, especially since...I was going to say incompetent...but gotta work on those core beliefs...I AM COMPETENT.
 
When I do ordinary things like shopping(it's a big thing for me too, because of the uneasiness), it helps me since I build the good habits of living, and eventually start to feel comfortable so I can step up to more challenging things.
12 years ago 0 252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Hugs,
 
Good topic..
I can relate to what you are saying here..I find it very rewarding  when I am able to go out and get my essential shopping done..For me this is a accomplishment. Like you said it can become very hard if I take on to many things at once and things can go wrong...Like when I was having my house renovated, now that was really hard and lots of things went wrong...and some went right too.. I am sure glad that is over and done with now...It is not something I would ever want to do again....
What I have learned is to not overload myself if at all possible..Sometimes it just can't be helped and it does creep up on you all of a sudden..I do have a fear of becoming overwhelmed again, and it doesn't take much for that to happen.  At times it makes me afraid to do anything..
 
Red....
12 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Being afraid of even my shadow, when my stress level gets higher, I find that I kind of choke.  Does anyone get a reward out of just shopping for the essentials?  I'm finding its rewarding to do the simple things, but it's hard now with my taking on too many things, and the complication of things going wrong

Reading this thread: