Welcome Cowgirl,
Not only will you recover, you will exceed all you've done.
Stick with us, go to therapy even if doing a phone session.
Do the program with this site, it's amazing how much it has helped me in such a short time. That, the right psychiatrist, and the right meds.
I have mental illness in my family. Before they called it agoraphobia, in the old days they called my great aunt a hermit, she never went out after her life changed dramatically and depression plus other set in. My grandmother on the other side was 'nuts' as they would say in the old days and institutionalized ( that place is now closed because of the brutal ways they did things then). My mother had depression, panic disorder.
SO, I'm not surprised I have all that, plus OCD, and PTSD, and others, etc.
I didn't shower, didn't care for myself at all - I'm surprised I was able to meet my husband - I say my father (earthly) in heaven and my husband's girlfriend before me arranged it and God did the rest.
Anyway, my point is, been where you are, as many who respond later will say the same.
And they will also tell you, and I will even promise you, if you do all you need to do for yourself, you'll see amazing gifts pour out from you. I can drive now. I even got in the car at 4:30 AM by myself to do extra work at my office in the dark - I never drove in the dark. Dark came, and major anxiety took place (PTSD)and into my home I would go. My hands literally shook on the steering wheel.
We're here to support you - everyone is very nice - amazing, because they all understand. I had to leave nursing because they didn't understand me. Imagine, in the field, and they didn't recognize I was having trouble and needed help.
Anyway, I hope you continue to check in on us and post more. You'll find great comfort.